Drive-in Horrorshow

Starring: Jenna Morasca.

Really,really enjoyed this odd little tip of the hat to film showmanship from the past.

Drive -in theatres have alook,smell,ambiance that wasn't exactly perfect,But made one feel like they were somewhere else besides home.

Many segments like : PIG,THE CLOSET,FALL APART,MEAT MAN,WATCHER-

They are all different and equally scary.

The acting was really good and must admit the the difference theatre ( light hearted humor ) and feature ( at times really mean spirited) was not exactly meshed.

Drive-In Horrorshow is especially good if you are in a "mixed" (i.e. horror-fan + horror-adverse) relationship...The shorts are creative and accessible, and show a great sense of humor. The Closet and The Watcher are just plain fun. The Meat Man is a grown-up look at all the crazy horror rumours we'd spread around as kids - this one was my favorite. And then, Fall Apart was horror with a bit of a soul. Socially relevant and terribly foreboding and creepy, with enough gore and stuff too to keep the more horror-fan types happy.

Apparently (according to husband) there are lots of great uses of horror archetypes too, but as a newbie I just thought it was fun and entertaining!

In the tradition of the horror anthologies of "Creepshow" and "Tales from the Crypt" comes this homage to the long lost day of the best way to watch a horror movie. The Drive In Movie Shows. Five tales of terror are brought to you by your host, The Projectionist and his sidekicks: Zombie Frank, Billy Troll, (a mini Lurch) and a teenage axe-victim who are sadly lacking in customers. Each tale has a different take on horror with some more violent than others. People meet grusome and gory deathsin a visual display of very red blood and plasticy gore and gloriously wicked black humour. Whatever your ghoulish pleasure: be it cutting and slashing, cannibalism,monsters, even evil children. This movie has it all. It's not a bad little movie and oh how I love the way its presented. All in all it's not a bad little movie. bcarruthers-76500

Stories: 0.75/2 - Direction & Pace 0.75 & 1.00/2 - Performances: 1.00/2 - Entertainment 0.75/2

Total - 4.25/10.

"Drive-in Horror Show," the 2009 anthology that claims to be a horror movie, is about as spine-chilling as a cup of lukewarm decaf on a rainy Monday morning. The four stories bundled together here are less horror and more of an attempt at psychological thrillers. Sadly, the only psychosomatic effect they induce is a profound sense of regret for hitting the play button.

These tales had potential, like a cake left in the oven for too long, but unfortunately, the writers seem to have mistaken mediocrity for suspense. The plots dangles before you like a carrot on a stick, tempting you with what could have been, only to deliver a bland buffet of missed opportunities: You're expecting a roller coaster and get stuck on a slow-moving merry-go-round instead.

The direction, or lack thereof, is like watching a confused GPS trying to guide you through a maze blindfolded. The director seems to be attempting to conjure some semblance of interest and atmosphere; however, all that materializes is a numbness that spreads faster than a bad joke at a funeral. The slow pace of the stories only adds insult to injury, making the viewer yearn for the sweet release of the end credits.

The performances, while marginally better than the rest of this horror misadventure, are the equivalent of polishing a turd. The cast stumbles through their roles like sleepwalkers in desperate need of caffeine, and the best actor in this dreary carnival of disappointment is the host. Kudos to him for trying to inject life into the cinematic corpse, but even his valiant efforts are like putting lipstick on a zombie.

In conclusion, if you possess an insatiable desire to experience boredom on an existential level, "Drive-in Horror Show" is the perfect prescription. It's the kind of terrible movie that undoubtedly makes you wish for a selective memory eraser to erase the unpleasant recollection of wasted time. Stay away unless you have a portable defibrillator on standby because you might necessitate an urgent need to revive your enthusiasm for horror after this cinematic coma.

"Drive-In Horrorshow" is a low-budget horror anthology made of 5 segments that have nothing in common, except that they all belong to a particular horror sub-genre. These segments are introduced by a ghoulish host that looks straight out of a b&w TV show, which nicely hints at the anachronistic nature of the segments, or rather their desire to encompass all eras of horror movies.

In no particular order, there's the monster movie, the torture movie, the slasher, the urban maniac and some sci-fi with men in black thrown in. This should make for a fun spectacle, but most of the segments go nowhere. The most blatant example is the first bit, "The Pig", which is 10 minutes of a raped girl torturing her tormentor in the bathtub until...he dies. There's no twist. This can also be said of the sci-fi segment, which reads like the 1st 20 minutes of a movie and then cuts. The slasher bit is simply 90 minutes of SOV backwoods slasher condensed in 20 minutes.

Although not original in any way, the "Meat Man" segment at least has endearing performances by the lead kids and some sort of twist, as does "The Closet". You get the feeling that the director simply wanted to pay respect to the many sub-genres of horror, but was simply out of ideas. As a homage, it works in a modest way, but as a movie, there is simply nothing to hold on to.

The grue is omnipresent, though surprisingly no so much in the torture segment. Even with 20 minutes segments, this mostly bored me. There's obviously a lot of heart, but no ideas. Next time, try a script.