Drive-in Horrorshow

Stories: 0.75/2 - Direction & Pace 0.75 & 1.00/2 - Performances: 1.00/2 - Entertainment 0.75/2

Total - 4.25/10.

"Drive-in Horror Show," the 2009 anthology that claims to be a horror movie, is about as spine-chilling as a cup of lukewarm decaf on a rainy Monday morning. The four stories bundled together here are less horror and more of an attempt at psychological thrillers. Sadly, the only psychosomatic effect they induce is a profound sense of regret for hitting the play button.

These tales had potential, like a cake left in the oven for too long, but unfortunately, the writers seem to have mistaken mediocrity for suspense. The plots dangles before you like a carrot on a stick, tempting you with what could have been, only to deliver a bland buffet of missed opportunities: You're expecting a roller coaster and get stuck on a slow-moving merry-go-round instead.

The direction, or lack thereof, is like watching a confused GPS trying to guide you through a maze blindfolded. The director seems to be attempting to conjure some semblance of interest and atmosphere; however, all that materializes is a numbness that spreads faster than a bad joke at a funeral. The slow pace of the stories only adds insult to injury, making the viewer yearn for the sweet release of the end credits.

The performances, while marginally better than the rest of this horror misadventure, are the equivalent of polishing a turd. The cast stumbles through their roles like sleepwalkers in desperate need of caffeine, and the best actor in this dreary carnival of disappointment is the host. Kudos to him for trying to inject life into the cinematic corpse, but even his valiant efforts are like putting lipstick on a zombie.

In conclusion, if you possess an insatiable desire to experience boredom on an existential level, "Drive-in Horror Show" is the perfect prescription. It's the kind of terrible movie that undoubtedly makes you wish for a selective memory eraser to erase the unpleasant recollection of wasted time. Stay away unless you have a portable defibrillator on standby because you might necessitate an urgent need to revive your enthusiasm for horror after this cinematic coma.

Like many anthologies some segments are more enjoyable than others. Overall I found it to be fun. I did feel the effects look dated, I was rather surprised by the date made, because it looks like it was made in the 90s. It has that 90s camp feel to it as well. Entertaining though. I did enjoy the drive through set up with the shadow customers.

It feels a bit like Goosebumps, or Creepshow with a lower budget. So it's not quite as good as these, but if these shows are up your street then I think you could have fun with it. I did feel the last one was the weakest one of the segments, which is a shame to end on.

To the guy in the 1st review from 2018, did you actually watch this? Guessing not. It was not her bf, and she was not the hero. Nor was that the problem here.

This isn't even campy bad, it's just bad bad. When I saw it pop up on a streaming site where you can use your library card to watch stuff like this for free, I was expecting a cheesy anthology like others here have noted. Like Creepshow, or maybe even Tales From The Darkside. But it was somehow worse that even those, despite coming out decades later when effects have improved on even the cheapest shows and movies. Bad acting, dialogue, and lazy tropes that don't go anywhere didn't help either.

I rarely feel like I've wasted time watching stuff, even bad or b-movies, but this was an actual waste of time. It was free, and I still want my money back. 1 star.

An anthology film with the segments bridged with supposedly humorous antics of ghosts and zombies who visit their own drive-in theater to watch movies about more ghosts and zombies. Why, you ask, do the undead go to a drive-in theater when they don't drive? Wouldn't an indoor theater be more to their liking? And such a drive-in! The film makers apparently had access to an actual drive-in theater but were not allowed to touch the projection equipment. So when it's time to show a film the print magically changes from 35mm to 16mm and an old pre-war Bell & Howell model 138 is switched on. The monster projectionist hasn't actually put the film IN the projector,but he gives the reel a spin and as we zoom in on the reel of 16mm film spinning like crazy the picture is somehow projected out of the big 35mm machine. And they do this goofy act for each of the segments as though the viewers won't notice. The films come in absurdly tiny cans which should hold a preview at most. Nit-picking? Maybe. But if there is one thing a movie maker should know it is what film is like. And these guys obviously don't. They can't act either. The ghost "manager" tries to do a funny/sinister accent as he tries to be a version of "The Cryptkeeper" but he isn't very good and drops his dialect repeatedly. Some of the undead actors don't speak at all so they thrash around trying to be over the top funny but just look silly. The performers in the story segments are so-so at best and none of the stories would scare anybody. I'd like to give these folks something for effort but considering they didn't even try very hard, I won't. I suppose you could sit through this if nothing else was on hand and you were really desperate for entertainment. Recommended only for those die-hard fans who want to see every last horror movie ever made.

Drive-In Horrorshow is especially good if you are in a "mixed" (i.e. horror-fan + horror-adverse) relationship...The shorts are creative and accessible, and show a great sense of humor. The Closet and The Watcher are just plain fun. The Meat Man is a grown-up look at all the crazy horror rumours we'd spread around as kids - this one was my favorite. And then, Fall Apart was horror with a bit of a soul. Socially relevant and terribly foreboding and creepy, with enough gore and stuff too to keep the more horror-fan types happy.

Apparently (according to husband) there are lots of great uses of horror archetypes too, but as a newbie I just thought it was fun and entertaining!