Sean Kleier credited as playing...
- Samantha: Don't you think that I'm sick of this too? Hearing Alvin the Chipmunk coming out of my mouth every time I speak? Having this face staring back at me every morning?
- Doc: OK, relax. It's not such a bad face.
- Doc: You know, we are going to look back at this and we're gonna l...
- Samantha: Oh God, you... smell... so... good!
- Doc: Em, that's... those are, it's just androgens. Those are pheromones and it's a chemical... what?
- Samantha: I'm getting the uncontrollable urge to... cuddle!
- Doc: And for the record, you don't sound like Alvin the Chipmunk.
- Samantha: I don't, really?
- Doc: Theodore, maybe.
- Samantha: I might be a few pounds lighter, but I can still catch a football.
- Doc: Sam, we don't play tackle football with women. End of discussion.
- Samantha: Dude, I still got the chops.
- Doc: Case closed.
- Samantha: [to herself] Sexist pig.
- Doc: [offscreen] I heard that!
- Doc: I know it's you, Sam... but you're different.
- Samantha: Good different?
- Doc: Not good. Amazing.
- Samantha: Doc, we're dudes. We fight, get drunk, and then make up.
- Doc: We are not dudes, Sam! Only one of us is a dude! That's the problem.
- Doc: So what's it like?
- Samantha: What's what like?
- Doc: Being a woman.
- Samantha: It's, em, it's like someone added 27 frequencies to my radio dial.
- Doc: Which means?
- Samantha: Which means, when I walk into a room, I pretty much know what's going on with everybody.
- Doc: May I have this dance?
- Samantha: Does a bear sh... of course you may.
- Doc: Were you really gonna belt her?
- Samantha: Hell, yeah!
- Doc: Spunky little thing, aren't you?
- Samantha: In a manner of speaking.
- Samantha: You know about drugs and hormone therapy and all that. So, I don't know, maybe if I was a dude again then everything would just be OK. You know, maybe we could go back to being friends.
- Doc: You're serious.
- Samantha: As a heart attack.
- Doc: Women have a completely different mind/body connection than men. Their arousal is more subtle, it's more intricate.
- Samantha: Which, translated from new age psychobabble, means what?
- Doc: They have to really like the person they're with to feel fully aroused. Let's face it, women are complicated.
- Samantha: Yeah, you're telling me.
