The Expendables

Sylvester Stallone enjoys his old age Renaissance with this amusing throwback to the cheesy action movies of the 1980s and 90s. It's dumb as Hell, and very poorly directed (by Stallone himself), but it does pretty much deliver. Stallone and Jason Statham lead a team of mercenaries, which also includes Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Terry Crews and some other tough guys. They're hired by Bruce Willis (who appears in one scene alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger) to infiltrate an island nation and assassinate the bloody general who has taken it over (David Zayas, who co-stars in the show Dexter). Stallone discovers that the general is really unimportant, and that the real villain running things is Eric Roberts, with former professional wrestler Steve Austin his second in command. Stallone doesn't really want to get involved in this crazy business, but is ultimately inspired to go through with it because of a rebel woman he meets there (Giselle Itié). The plot doesn't make a lot of sense, but there's a lot of explosions and beatdowns. It delivers what it promises, even if I did forget that I even saw it by the next day. Mickey Rourke has a nice small part as a former member of the Expendables, and Charisma Carpenter (of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel fame) has a nice part as a chick who dumps Statham.

Tough guys. Always going on suicidal missions. Threatened by bullets and blades. Running from explosions. Best friends waging wars. Nearly killing each other, then going to the bar later to laugh about it. Director and star, Sylvester Stallone, gets all his best men together to kick as much ass as humanly possible, allowing himself a severe beating from Steve Austin. Sly took a serious neck injury. Then he goes in front of a Comic Con audience and jokes about it. A man whose Double-"R" franchises, Rocky and Rambo have both been highly successful. But he keeps coming back for more pain and putting his body on the line for the sake of entertainment. There's nothing tougher than that!

The Expendables is a movie that lifts you up out of your seat, pats you on the head, gives you a lollipop then smashes you in the frickin' face! With a cast like Jason Stathum, Randy Couture, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, Terry Crews, Dolph "I Must Break You" Lundgren, and cameos from Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger, you'd think it would be one crazy mess. Surprisingly, it's more focused then you may think. Just a straight-forward action movie with a reasonable run time that sustains itself and never has a chance to feel dull. It doesn't try to be anything more than what it is.

The only negative: Some of the blood and explosions looked digital. Wish it could have been just a bit more authentic. Sometimes, there was a tad too many closeups during the fight scenes. With so many people fighting at the same time, sometimes I couldn't tell who was punching who. It didn't happen very often, but how cool would it be just for one moment to see three simultaneous fights from a super wide master shot? Never, but I can't blame them. At least let the cameras pull back and allow the choreography to do the work.

It feels nice to get my ass kicked by something I haven't seen yet. It's not Rambo. It's not Rocky. Nor is it another Die Hard or Terminator sequel. It's something fresh, yet feels like it came out of the 80's. It has the perfect blend of humor, blood, sweat, smart-ass comebacks, witty one-liners, and an overabundance of testosterone! Don't expect anything more than action, exposition, action, exposition, all with a nice cherry on top… with sprinkles… and grenades. And some real tough guys. We all wish we could be tough guys. But no, let's just watch'em instead.

Watching this movie was a great experience for an 80's movie buff like me. Its like the advertisement for it says, it has everyone! It says a lot for Sylvester Stallone's toughness that he can still play a tough guy part when he is one year from collecting Social Security. It really tickled me seeing the cameos by Bruce Willis and "The Governator". Its sort of an inside joke, he and Stallone have always had a friendly rivalry. Mickey Rourke really steals the show in his few scenes as a former mercenary turned tattoo artist. He delivers a rambling speech at one point about losing your soul that is really oddly moving in a way. Director Stallone has the camera dwell on his battered features as he delivers it. The awesome special effects, loud explosions and familiar faces sort of blur the fact that the plot from this movie could have easily been an old A Team episode. There really isn't much of one. But who am I to quibble? This movie is a great way to round out the summer.

A typical action movie that checks all of the action movie boxes. Lots of explosions, shootings, killings and unrealistic fight scenes.

It's great to see all of the dinosaurs from the 80's team up with each other. Stallone looked convincing as the main guy but it's the youth of Jason Statham that delivers the adrenalin in this movie. I would've liked to have seen more from Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Their roles were far too short for the amount of action experience they have. Steve Austin is the only person that was miscast. Personally, I think that this movie would have been better without him.

I got what I expected and if you like action movies...you will definitely like "The Expendables".

A novelty film, the novelty being seeing all of these great action stars together in one big action film. Unfortunately, most of them are past their prime, and it's hard to share the spotlight. The action is great, but it just isn't enough to carry the film this time. The characters and plot just aren't developed enough.