The Mystical Adventures of Billy Owens

But it was actually pretty ok. I mean is it a shame less harry potter rip off? Yes. But is it funny when its not supposed to be? Yes. Well it was bad but not that bad.

There is nothing in the world that really makes me angry enough to fight. I am old enough to know that violence is rarely the answer, if ever. But damn, this movie enrages every fiber of my soul.

So what is the story behind this train wreck? I can only guess that director Mark McNabb found some gullible parents that were trying to get their kids into show business. So with the help of four movies, he sought to turn the titular kids in this film into stars, starting with this horrible effort.

The plot...oh boy the plot. It veers off into so many directions that it is impossible to figure it out. Something about a scepter and wands and magic and...whatever. Then you got unconvincing bad guys who have managed to stay immortal for years despite not changing their name.

The acting was so bad I felt personally attacked. I know I stink at emoting, but goodness everyone in this movie is dreadful. I hate knocking on kids but what is a man supposed to do when forced to experience this dreck first hand?

I barely made it to the end, and I feel like I deserve a trophy. Where is my damn award Mark McNabb? Is the prize starring in one of your movies? I hope so! I wanna show these kids how to suck at acting. What was I talking about again?

My fourth grade daughter found home-made videos on Youtube. In these videos, kids off camera hold various Barbie dolls and "act" out a "drama" they made up themselves. In all honesty, these Youtube videos are vastly more entertaining, better-acted and more professionally made than this so-called film was. This film looks like it was made by a couple of fifth-graders on a computer. The acting is terrible, the continuity is non-existent, the plot meandering and lacking anything of interest, the characters are shallow and one dimensional, the camera work is amateurish and best of all, it is a blatant rip-off of the Harry Potter franchise. This film comes complete with a boy wizard, his obnoxiously precocious female know-it-all friend, and his dull best bud. There's even a bully with blond hair.

If you are looking for a film worth watching, this is not the one. I would not even characterize this as a B movie; D or F seems more appropriate to me.

Oh, that's right, it's the smell of my brain rotting. I started watching the film with an IQ higher than the average person and somehow during the course of the film managed to lose all my ability to think and/or function right for an entire week. The acting was so horrible, it was like these people had just been randomly picked off the street by the director of the film "Excuse me sir, could you give me just maybe two hours of your time? That's all it'll take, I swear. All you'll have to do is say a few lines and don't worry about putting meaning behind the words, it's highly over-rated and we wouldn't want a half-ways descent film that people would enjoy let alone watch. What's that? Oh, you don't want to look stupid on film? OK, we'll find somebody else who's ten times worse than you are." On top of the dreadful acting, the show just seemed to go on and on and on. It never ended. The first five minutes had me wanting to go and violently hurl myself off the edge of a cliff into a shallow pool of water with jagged rocks at the bottom. I didn't even think it was possible to make me WANT to commit suicide. I didn't think it was possible that this movie could reach the level of "Slipstream" that seemed as if it was just thrown together within a matter of seconds. Well it did. It wasn't quite as bad but if you ever have seen the movie with your own two eyes you'd get the picture. Please, please I beg of you, do not let yourself or far worse your children watch this film, it will come back to haunt you and it's just plain torture to sit through an hour and a half of something this abominable. I have set a warning at the bottom of my review.(Oh and by the way this gets a zero out of ten, if it were possible I would rate it lower)

WARNING, Side affects of watching this movie may include: Insomnia, Nightmares, Hallucinations, Nausea, Vomiting, Severe Internal Hemorrhaging, Brain Decay, Diarrhea, Headaches, and a very possible state of Coma. Not meant to be watched in the presence of children age ten or younger. If such an event occurs call an ambulance immediately but by then it's probably too late. Your child has already been scarred.

If you're the kind of person that loves to watch terrible movies, this is a great one to get. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I swear it was made with iMovie..

You can hear the audio popping in and out, terrible sparkle effects used frequently in the movie, really horrible acting, poor sound quality in general, stupid characters, incoherent plot, and the camera angles are trash. Half the time it's a 2 minute camera view with no transitions. At times you can't see the face of who's talking. Awkward dialog... it's all so great. I'm so happy people decided to put time and effort into this trash...

It's unbelievably horrid and I enjoyed every second of it. It rivals Troll 2 in my book.