Mark Duplass credited as playing...
Ben
- Andrew: I'm going to count to five and we're going to fuckin' *kiss* and we're just going to do it. Alright.
- Ben: You ready?
- Andrew: You ready?
- Ben: Yup!
- Andrew: You ready?
- Ben: Ready.
- Andrew: Ready?
- Ben: Five...
- [in unison]
- Ben: four, three, two, one.
- Andrew: [jumps at Ben. They open-mouth "kiss", but without moving at all; and they hold this for at least ten seconds; then they release and stand back]
- Ben: [pauses, then sounds happily relieved] It wasn't that bad!
- Andrew: [laughing] No, it was just... it's weird, I've never kissed stubble before.
- Ben: Wasn't that bad!
- Andrew: It wasn't *terrible*.
- Ben: It wasn't terrible, no, it wasn't terrible.
- Andrew: [long pause] Yeah, that was awful.
- Ben: Dude, that was awful.
- [pause]
- Ben: Okay...
- Andrew: Uhhhhh...
- Ben: This is gonna be hard.
- Andrew: Yeah, that puts a little wrench in the works, doesn't it?
- Ben: What a wild life you live, my friend.
- Andrew: Enh. You always have the option of doing what I'm doing, and I don't know that I so much have the option of doing what you're doing.
- Ben: Ah, it's easy. You just go to a grocery store, you find someone with long hair that's a girl, start kissing her, one thing leads to another. Then you buy her a ring, you get married, you buy a house. And soon enough you're converting your upstairs office into a potential baby room.
- Andrew: Are you fucking serious?
- Ben: Not yet, but we're on the path. We've officially removed the goalie, and now we're just doing free kicks.