Jim Howick credited as playing...
Various
- Caligula: My loyal generals. You have all served me well. Thanks to your ceaseless warring and general nastiness, I Caligula now rule an empire of unimaginable scale.
- General #1: Yes!
- [the generals high five each other]
- Caligula: However... there is one valiant foe that we have yet to conquer.
- General #2: Do you speak of the mighty tribes in the untamed lands of the East, My Liege?
- Caligula: No.
- General #1: Mean you then, the savage Celts of the frozen wastes of the North?
- Caligula: Nah!
- General #2: Well, then... who would you have us fight, Sire?
- Caligula: [Dramatically] Poseidon.
- [the generals both laugh]
- General #1: Funny!
- [They stop laughing after noticing that Caligula's expression hasn't changed]
- General #2: You're serious?
- Caligula: Yes.
- General #2: OK. But, Poseidon... is God of the Sea. He's likely to be quite... big.
- Caligula: [Aggressively] Bigger than *me*?
- General #1: Oh, no no no. No, big is the wrong word. What we meant was more, erm...
- General #2: Goddish?
- Caligula: But that's the whole point. I mean, any old Emperor can defeat the Carthaginians, but it takes a special kind of Emperor to take on a God! Just think of the history books. "Ooh, do you remember that Caligula?" "Oh yes, wasn't he the one that took on that God?"
- [Titters insanely]
- Caligula: No one's going to forget that in a hurry!