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Conan O'Brien in The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien (2009)

Mike Merritt: Self - The Tonight Show Band: Bass

Seth Green/Steven Ho/Demi Lovato

The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien

Mike Merritt credited as playing...

Self - The Tonight Show Band: Bass

Quotes1

  • Conan O'Brien: Yesterday, in New York City, I gotta mention this, this is historic: President Obama addressed the annual NAACP on its 100th anniversary. Yeah. And it was...
  • [audience applauds]
  • Conan O'Brien: Yeah, this is big. It was a historic moment as our first African-American president addressed the nation's oldest civil rights organization. Now I, for one, can relate to the pride felt by the black community as Obama spoke of the countless African-Americans before him who, through their selfless sacrifices, paved the way for his historic achievement. Y'know, as the great African-American scholar Cornell West once so wisely said, "You can't lead the people if you don't love the people. You can't save the people if for some reason-"
  • Mike Merritt: [inner monologue] You've GOT to be kidding me. Why's a guy that white talking about the black experience? Conan makes John Tesh look like Michael Vick. The blackest thing Conan's ever done is finish a crossword puzzle at a Detroit airport. When Conan came out of the womb, the doctor told his mom she had given birth to a snow owl wearing a Shirley Temple wig. Look at him, still ranting about being black. I hope Conan has fun this weekend washing down his organic sushi with a soy iced latte while crying to Norah Jones music. I can't take this anymore. Back to you, Conan, you decaying porcelain doll.
  • Conan O'Brien: ...'Cause we're all in this together! Thank you, thank you very much.
  • [audience applauds/cheers]
  • Conan O'Brien: [Conan looks over at Mike, who's smiling] "Decaying porcelain doll"?
  • [Andy laughs; Mike shrugs and smiles]
  • Conan O'Brien: My God! That bit's getting meaner and meaner.

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