Amy Poehler credited as playing...
Leslie Knope
- Leslie Knope: What are you doing around these parts?
- Dave Sanderson: Oh, I just - I came by to see the murals. This one's pretty amazing.
- Leslie Knope: Yeah, this one's a beauty. You know, in the 1880s, there were a few years that were pretty rough and tumble in Pawnee. This depicts kind of a famous fight between Reverend Bradley and Anna Beth Stevenson, a widowed mother of seven. The original title of this was "A Lively Fisting." But, you know, they had to change it. For obvious reasons.
- April Ludgate: So, I was just at the grind and I thought you might want an iced mocha with extra, extra whipped cream.
- Leslie Knope: Oh, my. Thank you so much, April. Wow.
- April Ludgate: You're welcome. Oh, by the way, completely unrelated, I just signed up for the Miss Pawnee Beauty Pageant.
- Leslie Knope: That's wonderful. You know, that is why I decided to become a judge. So that awesome girls like you who are not, you know, classically hot, can be rewarded for their intelligence and savvy.
- April Ludgate: [to camera] Beauty pageants are idiotic, but I found out that the winner of the Miss Pawnee pageant gets 600 dollars. I can be idiotic for 600 dollars.
- [to Leslie]
- April Ludgate: So are you gonna vote for me, sister?
- Leslie Knope: April, it's unethical for me to show you favoritism. You and I are like family.
- April Ludgate: The coffee's seven dollars.
- Leslie Knope: Yes, right. Of course.
- Leslie Knope: Wanna hear something awful? He didn't even know who Madeline Albright was.
- Ann Perkins: Who?
- Leslie Knope: Not you too! Madeline Albright, first female Secretary of State!
- Ann Perkins: No, who didn't know?
- Leslie Knope: Oh, Dave. That cop that I met. I don't know, I don't know if I can date someone who doesn't share my interests. I mean, could you date someone who doesn't love giving vaccinations?
- Ann Perkins: I've never dated anyone who loves giving vaccinations.
- Leslie Knope: Trish, Alexis de Tocqueville called America the great experiment. What can we do as citizens to improve on that experiment?
- Trish Ianetta: Uh, well, uh, I think America is the land of the free, which is a wonderful thing, and also the brave, where people can live. And nobody can ever take that away from you. And it never gives up. But the high birthing rate of immigrants frightens me! No offense to anyone out there, but if it were up to me and my family, I would actually call it our America, and not their America! Thank you.
- [the audience applauds]
- Leslie Knope: Don't applaud that. She didn't - she didn't answer my question.