Mark Harmon credited as playing...
Leroy Jethro Gibbs
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Well, I told you about the... the brains. I told you about the guts, I told you about the muscle, the scientist, the politician, the leader, I told you about every member of the team, except myself. The part I play.
- Saleem Ulman: Which is?
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I'm the wild card. I'm the guy who looks at the reality in front of him and refuses to accept it. Like right now I should be terrified, right? But I'm not. Because I just can't stop thinking about the movie "True Lies." You know where Arnie's strapped to the chair, shot full of truth serum? Picks his cuffs, and kills everybody? You have 30 seconds to live, Saleem.
- Saleem Ulman: [chuckles] No, you're still bound. You're lying.
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I can't lie. And I didn't say I was going to be the one to kill you. Remember when I told you my boss was a sniper?
- [a bullet flies through window and kills Saleem. Hundreds of yards away, Gibbs looks up from the sights of his rifle]
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [over radio] Go.
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [after hearing that Ziva's ship sunk with no survivors] After that business as usual lost all meaning.
- [everything becomes blurred and each character is seen from Tony's perspective]
- NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: Blah, blah, blah. Computer stuff. Blah.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: [drops file on Tony's desk] Autopsy report
- Abby Sciuto: Words! There's so many words! And there's thinks and-and stuff and emotions. Thanks for listening.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Got a dead marine. Grab your gear... Got a missing kid. Grab your gear... Some idiot smuggled a koala on a submarine. Grab your gear... Grab your gear. Grab your gear. Grab your gear.
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: No!
- [Tony is asking McGee to help fix his television set]
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: It's computers. It's your thing. If I had a thing, I would show it off all the time.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [entering] There are rules against that, DiNozzo.
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Wow, you guys have a whole little thing going on. But I get it. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Bob's your uncle. I'm hip. I dig it.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Good. Got a volunteer?
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I volunteer myself and Special Agent McGee for the secret fact finding mission thingy. That's not so secret in the Sahara. What are you gonna do?
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You don't want to know.
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Good talk.
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [Gibbs asked DiNozzo to select Ziva's replacement from a stack of applicant's files] Are there photos in there, boss?
- NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: Boss, really? Tony picks? Because, you know, coming from anyone else, that might be considered a lapse in judgement.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Okay, you both pick.
- NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: That makes much more sense.
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You don't trust me to be professional?
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No casting couch.
- NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: Petty officer Kevin Wingate. Disciplined for drug possession. Low quantity.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Personal use?
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What kind of discipline?
- NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: Sixty day restriction.
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Oh. He hasn't been off the boat?
- NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: Not in two months.
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Well, he didn't get the dose on land, he could have cooked it up himself.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Or someone brought it to him. Shipmates thought he'd kicked.
- NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: I guess he fell off.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: [entering] We do not guess, Timothy. Nor do we assume, presume, conjecture, or prognosticate.
- NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee: [Referring to a prospective replacement] She's unflappable.
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: She's unflappable.
- [Candidate runs out of the conference room crying. Gibbs hands folder to DiNozzo]
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Strike one.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Dunham says the Mossad presence has increased in North Africa.
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Prepping for an offensive?
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Or course correction. Clean up a failure.
- NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What kind of failure?
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: The kind with casualties.