David Boreanaz credited as playing...
Seeley Booth
- Arastoo Vaziri: Dr. Brennan said to be especially nice to you when the science was difficult.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: How stupid do you people think I am?
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Tell you what, Bones, you know when I was in college, my frat. We stole a cadaver, dressed it like Caesar, put it on statue of a horse.
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Would this, by any chance, be a fraternity of sociopaths?
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I think you'll find your missing Medical School Cadaver over there.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Where?
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sitting in the bleachers. He hasn't moved since we got here.
- Sheriff Tina Mullins: No. That's just campus security. They're always like that. But I'll go check it out.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: You want me to come to India with you?
- Jared Booth: Ball's in your court brother.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: What they gotta do is build their frontal lobe with exercise. That comes from doing the wrong thing.
- Dr. Lance Sweets: So your theory is: you've got to be bad to be good?
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Exactly. Facts of life my friend.
- Jared Booth: So come as a friend.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: We both know I'm not your friend. I'm your big brother.
- Jared Booth: Yep.
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If you go with him, then he won't be alone. You won't let him be bad. And his frontal lobe will always be the size of a raisin. That's what you said. Makes no scientific sense.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, I said that. Got it.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: What'd they say? Dishonorable discharge?
- Jared Booth: Court-martial convicted me of misuse of authority and theft of government property.
- Jared Booth: I owed you for diggin' me out of crap my whole life.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, you're gonna need a job.
- Jared Booth: Now, I joined the navy when I was 17. So a job-That's what civilians refer to as a duty, right? Yes.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, we do know that Beaver was with at least one girl.
- Dr. Lance Sweets: Why? What makes you think so?
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Scoreboard.
- Dr. Lance Sweets: What?
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Beaver -- One star, one conquest.
- Dr. Lance Sweets: Oh-So do the stars here represent the number of times individual members of the fraternity completed the sex act, or the number of girls?
- Robert Hooper: The second.
- Dr. Lance Sweets: Just curious. Do you also compare penis sizes?
- Robert Hooper: No!
- Eli Rounder: Only if we're really drunk and already naked.
- Robert Hooper: What?
- [Bystander states that "You're crazy, man."]
- Eli Rounder: What?-- I - -We agreed to answer all their questions truthfully.
- Dr. Lance Sweets: Dalton Abbot. Very successful according to this. Compensating for something.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sweets, stop psychoanalyzing frat life and just get on with the Beaver questions.
- Dr. Lance Sweets: Sure.Of course. But, guys, wouldn't it be more impressive to actually have a single girl want to have sex with you multiple times unless your only objective it to impress other adolescent males?
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: They keep track of sexual conquests with stars on the wall?
- Dr. Lance Sweets: It's emotionally stunted.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Guys, it's a college fraternity.
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: They seem like really terrible people.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: They're college kids, okay? It's-Their job description is to be bad. It's what they do.
- Dr. Lance Sweets: Yeah, but still, a community of young men mutually supporting bad decisions.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look, these kids, they go out into the world. They're alone. They have no supervision. They have to be bad in order to figure out what it is. Did you know-Scientific fact. Their frontal lobes are the size of raisins.
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, that is not a scientific fact.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: What they gotta do is build their frontal lobes with exercise, okay? - And that comes from doing the wrong thing.
- Dr. Lance Sweets: Okay. - So your theory is, you gotta be bad to be good?
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Exactly. Facts of life.So what transmissions did you get from the brothers?
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, he is not a radio.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, he kind of is. That's why I brought him along, Bones.
- Dr. Lance Sweets: What I did observe, using my eyes and my training is that these three frat brothers weren't actually upset about Beaver's death.
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How do you know?
- Dr. Lance Sweets: Well, real grief comes and goes in waves. These guys had their faces set in sadness the whole time. - They were lying.
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I believe you're just guessing.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: So, do you recognize this pistol?
- Greg Harmalard: Yes, sir. It's a Beretta U-22 Neos LR with a six-inch barrel. Ten-round capacity. Low blade front sights and adjustable rear sights. I'm in R.O.T. C. I know my weapons.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm Jared's older brother. He should listen to me.
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I could provide you with several societies where younger brothers are required under threat of death to do what their older brothers tell them.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: I like those societies.
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, they're mostly extinct now.
- Professor Marlene Twardosh: This should be good. The F.B.I. is investigating student cheating? Who says America undervalues education?
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Did any of your students do suspiciously well on your last exam? Starting with James Bouvier.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Starting with James Bouvier.
- Professor Marlene Twardosh: Beaver has never done suspiciously well at anything, Agent Booth. He was about to be expelled because he failed my course.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Did he show any signs that he wanted to do any better?
- Professor Marlene Twardosh: You mean begging for mercy or offering bribes and sexual favors? That sort of thing?
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Do you use an estrogen cream?
- Professor Marlene Twardosh: No.I make do with the meager hormones I produce naturally. Why?
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Did you have sexual intercourse with Beaver?
- Professor Marlene Twardosh: What are you - - I was joking about the sexual favors
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Also about the bribes?
- Professor Marlene Twardosh: My God, you people are humorless.
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Five students failed this exam.
- Professor Marlene Twardosh: It was a tough exam.
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: They got exactly the same score- 37%. - What are the chances of that?
- Professor Marlene Twardosh: I teach chemistry. You'll have to ask Professor DeWitt in Statistics.
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But the same five students did extremely well on the two tests preceding this one.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, what are you gettin' at?
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I believe Professor Twardosh realized that these students had stolen her tests in the past. And instead of informing the university, she planted a fake test online.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: To turn her students in?
- Professor Marlene Twardosh: No. That would result in hearings and excuses and tears and parents. I hate parents.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look, your college experience was with professors. Mine was with students and jocks.What are you gettin' at here?
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, I believe Professor Twardosh took revenge against unethical students who had no respect for knowledge.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: And you approve?
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes, I do.Beaver was obviously an emerging criminal.
- Professor Marlene Twardosh: Thank you.I may need you to testify at my termination hearing when the university finds out.
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Can I ask you one question? What floor is your office on?
- Professor Marlene Twardosh: The third floor.
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Over grass?
- Professor Marlene Twardosh: Over flagstones.On my bad days, I consider jumping. You're a forensic anthropologist, correct? - Would it kill me?
- Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, Professor Twardosh.It would probably just break a few bones.
- Professor Marlene Twardosh: That's good to know
- Dr. Lance Sweets: So I checked out the nicknames of the kids who owed Beaver money.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Are those the guys you picked out as not being sad he was dead?
- Dr. Lance Sweets: Uh, yeah. You're walking pretty fast.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Uh- So any of those three frat guys set off your psycho-killer alarm?
- Dr. Lance Sweets: No, no, no. They display a fairly banal mix of social awkwardness narcissism, inappropriate fantasies. All within the normal range.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Even the R.O.T.C. guy?
- Dr. Lance Sweets: Well, like most overachievers, he displays a slight Oedipal neurosis. Will you share with me why you're so agitated?
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know what? My brother Jared is ruining his life.
- Dr. Lance Sweets: Oh. He's drinking again?
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. I'm pretty sure he was dried out before his court-martial.
- Dr. Lance Sweets: Then why the recent urge to self-destruct?
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: I set up a perfectly great job interview for him.But instead, you know what he decides to do? He wants to just travel across India on his motorcycle.Yeah, that's right. Talk about a narcissistic dependence on stupidity.
- Dr. Lance Sweets: Mm-hmm. You or him?
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: This is exactly why I don't talk to you about these kind of things.
- Dr. Lance Sweets: Okay. I'm gonna suggest that you're jealous of your brother's decision.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: I don't want to go to India.
- Dr. Lance Sweets: Well, you feel trapped here by your responsible nature. Your job, your interpersonal relations.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
- Dr. Lance Sweets: Whereas Jared is completely free.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: I am free. I am free as a bird. Free to do whatever I want.
- Dr. Lance Sweets: Yeah, but what you're not free to do is control your brother's life.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Control Jared. Good luck with that one.
- Dr. Lance Sweets: Well, it's not for a lack of trying. You could always get a motorbike and go with him.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: A "motorbike." " A motorbike is used for people who deliver pizzas in Amsterdam. You know, India is large.It's vast. Get a motorcycle.Right. I'd get an American motorcycle.
- Dr. Camille Saroyan: The bullet Arastoo found in the victim's remains was a . 22-caliber. Light and relatively undamaged.
- Special Agent Seeley Booth: Low-pressure rimfire cartridge.
- Dr. Camille Saroyan: Which is consistent with R.O.T. C. small arms.