Justin Bartha credited as playing...
Doug
- Alan: [to Teddy] Sit down, I got this. Sit down, boy. That was a great speech, sir. I like the comparisons between, uh, Stu and rice. I've also prepared a few words. Hey, everybody, here are some fun facts. The population in Thailand is 63 million people. It is twice the size of Wyoming. It's chief exports are textiles, footwear, and rice. Each year approximately 13,000 people are killed in car accidents in Thailand. The climate in Thailand is...
- Doug: Alan why don't you skip to the last card there, buddy
- Alan: OK, sorry.
- [Flips through about 5 or 6 cards]
- Alan: None of you know Stu like I do. Not you, not you, not you, not you, not nobody knows Stu like I do. No one. I can't even tell you what we've been through because we made a pact more important than blood. What I can tell you is this, this is not Stu's first marriage. There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple years ago...
- Phil: All right, time's up. You can sit down now, bud. You can sit down.
- Alan: It was good. I did good though.
- Phil: Oh God, you killed it.
- Alan: OK, thanks, Phil.
- Alan: Sit down, yeah
- [applause]
- Alan: [to Teddy] In your face!
- Linda Garner: [Enters] Excuse me, boys.
- Doug: Hi, Linda.
- Linda Garner: Hi, Dougie.
- Alan: I guess we don't do dessert any more, I didn't get that memo!
- Linda Garner: Well, I'm sorry, darling, I'll be right back
- Alan: Would a cupcake kill you?