Aaron Himelstein: Dave

Losers Take All

Dave

Brian: [after being beaten up by jocks for listening to Black Flag] You know what?
Dave: What?
Brian: We need to start a band.

Dave: We do suck in the grand scheme of things.
Vicky: The grand scheme of things is Huey Lewis and the News. Which you guys aren't, thank God.
Greg Glaverman: She's right. You're not Huey Lewis or the News.

Brian: [Listening to Bad Brains] That's a song, man. That needs to be us.
Dave: That'll never be us.
Brian: Why not?
Dave: First of all... Bad Brains are black. Second of all, we can't keep a band together for more than 5 minutes.

Greg Glaverman: [Handing the boys a business card] My name's Greg Glaverman. I manage and promote bands.
Dave: [Looking at the card] It says here you sell furniture, Greg.
Greg Glaverman: That's an old card. The new ones are gonna say both.
Billy: [Suddenly realizing] I know you, dude! You're that guy who's always getting his ass kicked in those TV commercials!
[the band cracks up]
Greg Glaverman: So... have you guys, like, cut a demo? Is there anything I could listen to? I've got a cassette player in my car, I could just pop it in.
Dave: Are you serious?
Lance: What's "Slamdini" like in real life?
Greg Glaverman: He's pretty nice. We don't really talk much. I'm serious about the demo.

[Brian and Dave approach Billy and Lance tripping on mescaline]
Brian: Great show guys.
Billy: Yeah right.
Brian: No, I... I'm serious. You guys ever thought about joining a real band?
Dave: What real band?
Brian: Our real band.
Dave: [Realizing Brian's idea] ... no... no no no no no, not these guys. They're all heavy metal and shit.
Billy: [Scoffs] Whatever, dude.
Dave: Sorry...
Brian: [to Dave] It's okay. Why don't you just leave the staffing & sonic stylings to me, okay? I can mold these guys into our sound.
Lance: [to Billy] Do they know that we're, like, right in front of them?
Billy: Who the fuck are you guys? We don't even know you!
Brian: Look, this is Dave. He is the best bass player in the whole tri-county universe.
Dave: [Genuinely touched] Thanks... this is Brian. He's out of his goddamn mind.
Brian: Look, I know this is gonna sound crazy, okay? But after you lost... Gandalf on bass, I had a vision of a band that we're all in. It's not metal, it's not really punk and you know what? It doesn't suck.
Lance: [Takes a long drag on his spliff] So are you guys, like... on drugs or something?
Dave: No, we're not.
Billy: You got any more?
Brian: ...yes.