Neil Patrick Harris credited as playing...
- Jeff: How about keeping just one eye on the road.
- Sam: Oh, come on.
- Jeff: Not for me. For your daughter.
- Beatrice: Yeah mom, for me.
- Jeff: I think Beatrice should live long enough to see a white president.
- Beatrice: What's wrong mommy?
- Sam: Nothing, my baby. Just everything.
- Jeff: So, public school it is!
- Sam: No!
- Jeff: So, back home it is!
- Sam: No!
- Jeff: So, homeschooling it is. And what a majestic home to do it in, don't you think, B? Which wing should we house the English Department in?
- Jeff: You left my daughter!
- Clark: She was safer after I left, dude. Consuela's from Venezuela. She probably has like 8 kids.
- Jeff: [performing poetry by reading text messages] I'm right outside the door right now. Will you let me in? No, I'm serious. Some big Hispanic dude is out here asking me for money. Please come out here.
- [first lines]
- Jeff: Yo, B.
- Beatrice: I'm up.
- Jeff: Check it! "You are now leaving Delaware". Get ready to say goodbye to Delaware everybody. Here it comes... , Bye Delaware!
- Beatrice: Bye Delaware! Bye Delaware! I'll see ya later.
- Sue Lemon: Let's start with, what do you do?
- Jeff: Uh, it's really not very interesting.
- Sue Lemon: Well that's alright, I'll spice it up.
- Jeff: I pre-encode LAR files for S&G List Serve.
- Sue Lemon: I think I just took a nap in the middle of what you just said.
