Blair Witch

Watching the new version of Blair Witch. . . . . major YAWN. . The build up of the original setup the scare for the rest of the movie. . YAWN again. This movie has no build up and is comprised of "scares" derived from AHS "Roanoke"and adds a touch of 80's horrors like Nightmare on Elm Street or Hallowe'en or Friday 13th by adding college-age hotties making out in tents. . YAWN again . . . and none of that is even done well. If you're looking for a good scare with less than great-action. . . I'd still suggest you. . . . YAWN again SKIP THIS MOVIE! Or don't but please, please, don't pay to see this. It's drivel for the sake of drivel and does not even come close to the original. It comes off like a college-thesis-remake movie and I can't believe any major movie company PAID to have this crap made. The sound effects are dead-awful, including some really bad two-way radio static that was louder than any of the voices "communicated." This movie was bad on all levels from sound to cinematography. If there is a REAL Blair Witch, let's hope she "takes care of" anyone associated with this waste of time!

Love it or hate it, The Blair Witch Project is an essential piece of filmmaking and a masterpiece of movie marketing which popularised the found footage sub-genre. Personally, I'm not a fan of Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez's original film. Despite a creepy final ten seconds and an intriguing set-up of the Blair witch legend, the film is basically 80 minutes of people arguing in the woods over a lost map. There's no big payoff, nothing is ever shown and mostly I just find very boring and tedious.

So when Blair Witch was revealed, I wasn't exactly excited like a lot of people were. I love the Adam Wingard and Simon Barrett duo and so I was looking forward to their next project, The Woods which of course turned out to be a secret pseudonym for a sequel to The Blair Witch Project. Early Reviews came out and I suddenly became very excited. People were calling it a game changer for horror films and one even went so far as to say that the film will wreck you, so of course I was sold. I avoided all trailers and decided to pop over and see it on opening day, hoping to watch a genuinely scary found footage horror film. Unfortunately I came out extremely disappointed.

Blair Witch isn't a bad film, but it's certainly no game-changer. In fact, it's nothing much to write home about at all. It is simply an average horror film and in my opinion the worst offering from the directing/writing duo so far. One of the main problems is that it plays out almost exactly like the original Blair Witch Project, albeit a bit more souped up. Instead of having a group of characters going into the woods to investigate about the legend, we have a group of characters going into the woods to find Heather, the main character from the original, who happens to be our protagonist's sister. If there was no mention of Heather then Blair Witch would definitely be classed as a remake, rather than a sequel. Even fans of this film admit that it follows almost every beat of the original: there's the getting lost, finding twig men hanging outside the tent, running away in the dark from something that can't be seen and even the iconic old house finale.

Blair Witch offers no new surprises and the first half of the film is almost as tedious as the original. We're not really made to care for any of the characters and none are properly developed. They're just your average group of young adults being lined up for the slaughterhouse, with the technicians from The Cabin in the Woods at the control panel watching it all play out. When a character dies, we don't really care which is sort of a problem when we're made to stay with them for 90 minutes. There are some nice moments of good humour, but for the most part not a great deal happens in the first half. It's just like watching some friends go on a camping trip. It would've been an ideal opportunity for some character development, but instead we just get the usual arguing and banal banter.

Once we hit around the midway point, spooky stuff starts happening but it's all stuff we've seen before. There are some tense moments when characters go off on their own and hear strange noises deep in the woods, but there's never any payoff. A good scare is like a good joke. There has to be an extended moment of suspense and then an explosive punchline, but Blair Witch seems to always miss the punchline. I was always on edge and waiting for something scary to happen in the woods, but nothing really ever does. I did like the real sense of panic and distress though as we realise that these characters are going to end up lost in these woods for what could be an eternity. But whilst the atmosphere is good, the scares are too uninspired to be effective.

Things do start to pick up in the last twenty minutes though. After what feels like endless screaming and running in the woods, we come across the dreaded old house from the first film. This is when things start to become intense and genuinely horrifying at times. There's a huge sense of dread and unpredictability which had me on the edge of my seat. I thought, "finally! Maybe this is the part that's going to wreck me" but it wasn't. Despite a couple of effective jump scares and moments of intensity, the finale fails to live up to the expectations which it promised. It did a good job of building up tension, but just like the scenes in the woods, it failed to conjure up a truly scary punchline. In fact, the film ends with a very disappointing whimper which left me wanting a lot more.

I don't mind slow-burners but there has to be a payoff worth waiting for. In the end, it's a perfectly serviceable horror film. It uses the found footage aspect well and makes good use of utilising new filming technologies. It's also better and far more entertaining that the original, but that's not really high praise coming from a detractor of it. I suppose that I just fell for the hype and I don't want you to do the same. It has moments which are scarier than most mainstream horror films, but there's nothing that will shake you to your core here. Hardened horror nuts are not going to be impressed. It may be worth a quick look when it gets released on DVD but it's not worth seeing on the big screen. In a year full of great horror films, Blair Witch disappointingly seems to be the first hiccup.

Shhh.... Did you hear that?... Peter?... Peter?!... Peter!... Peeeter!!... Ashley!...Ashley?... Ashley!....ASHLEY!... Aaaashleeey!!... Aaashleeey!....James?... Jaaames!...Lisa!... Liiisaaaa!... Peter?... Peter!!!.... Lane?... Laaane?.... Talia?... Talia!.... Ashley?... James???... Lisa? ... Liiisaaaa!... HEY! All of you just shut the f**k up! It's over! OK? Take it down a notch. It's finally done. What started in 1999 with a unique low-budget, cleverly executed and promoted, and genuinely creepy little indie film, finally ended in 2016 with a ridiculous corporate big-budget hackneyed piece of shhhh...did you hear that?... Ashley?... Ashley?.... ASHLEY!

This rating feels really harsh as this was a genuinely good movie and an excellent homage to the original.However the issues here are two-fold:

1. If you've seen the original there's really no need to see this one. It's effectively a modern remake of the original film with some minor tweaks. As a result, there isn't really much need for its existence other than to make more money for the film studio.

2. Part of what made the original so genre-defining and so ruthlessly scary (at the time) was the fact that nothing had been seen like it before. Tie that in with all the paraphernalia that went with it – mockumentaries, interviews with relatives, the actors in hiding for months, and it meant people were genuinely terrified before they'd even set foot in the cinema. Without all that, and with people being so accustomed to 'hand-held horror films' now, this film doesn't really deliver anywhere near the terror or frights that its namesake did 17 years ago.

Despite the above however, Blair Witch does so much of what 'Project' did well. For a start, the characters make genuinely, believable choices (minus maybe the idea of going into the woods in the first place). When you find yourself thinking you'd definitely leave at that stage - the characters attempt to leave. When you think at that stage you'd set up camp for the night rather than wandering round in the dark – they set up camp for the night… So often in horror films we have to put up with idiotic characters making idiotic, wholly unrealistic decisions and suffering the consequences as a result. At least with the BW series, you can actually empathise with the characters as they act in a similar manner to that, any of us would in the same situation.

Then, somewhat in homage to the original, it brings in elements of new camera-work which add to the tension and genuinely seem to present some alternative ways of filming (GPS cameras connected to the ear, looking through the reverse screen of a video camera, drone cameras etc) and all are integrated into the story seamlessly rather than being thrown in for the sake of it.

Finally, although I personally found myself relatively unmoved by the whole thing, the cinema itself barely moved when the credits rolled. My partner and I watched the entirety of the credits and were still two of the first out. It was as if everyone was waiting for the lights to come on first, which would suggest maybe others were more unnerved. I've never seen anything like it! In summation, if you've seen the original, there's really no need to see 'Blair Witch'. It's not that you'll be disappointed as it does a lot well, but it does a lot well because it practically mirrors the first. Not a bad film by any stretch but doesn't offer enough new material to warrant its existence.

Over fifteen years have passed since the mysterious disappearance of Heather Donahue in the Black Hills Forest, but her brother James (James Allen McCune) still hasn't given up hope of finding her alive. When found video footage surfaces on YouTube showing what might be a fleeting glimpse of Heather, James leads a group of friends to Burkittsville, and into the woods supposedly inhabited by the Blair Witch.

Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 might not have been a very good sequel, but at least it tried to do something a little different to the first film. This reboot for the Blair Witch franchise smacks of laziness and greed, the makers simply rehashing the original movie for a new generation.

This film takes advantage of the advances in technology, with digital headsets and a drone used by the characters, but director Adam Wingard is, for the most part, content to regurgitate the same old, same old: strange noises outside the tents at night, stick men suspended from the trees, piles of rocks, the characters seemingly walking in circles, and a frantic finale in a creepy old house covered in children's hand-prints.

About the only part of the film that doesn't feel tired and predictable is a claustrophobic crawl through a cramped tunnel by final girl Lisa (Callie Hernandez); after all of these years, we deserved more.