Jason Segel credited as playing...
Marshall Eriksen
- Marshall Eriksen: So Robin, do you have a playbook?
- Robin Scherbatsky: [motions at breasts] Two volumes, right here.
- Ted Mosby: I've read them, it's a good read.
- Lily Aldrin: Yeah, I'm reading them right now.
- Robin Scherbatsky: All right, I'm gonna get the paper.
- Ted Mosby: More like go get a husband.
- Marshall Eriksen: Totally.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Okay, you guys, just stop that. Seriously, the last thing I'm looking for right now is a relationship.
- Ted Mosby: Uh-huh. When you pick up the newspaper, be sure to check the wedding announcements. For yours!
- Marshall Eriksen: Robin, it's like this. Do you know how many times in my life I've gone to the freezer looking for frozen waffles and not found them?
- Robin Scherbatsky: Thousands?
- Marshall Eriksen: Millions. But when I go to the freezer looking for a popsicle or the remote control because Lily and I are having a fight and she's hidden it there, do you know what I find? Frozen waffles. That's how it works. You go out there looking for a paper, you're coming back with frozen waffles. And in this case, frozen waffles is a guy. Also, could you pick up some frozen waffles? In that case, frozen waffles are frozen waffles.
- Barney Stinson: Every woman in New York! Barney Stinson is back on the market. Mothers lock up your daughters, daughters lock up your MILSWANCA.
- Marshall Eriksen: MILSWANCA?
- Ted Mosby: Oh I got it, Mothers I Like To Sleep With And Never Call Again
- Barney Stinson: Correct! Circle gets a square.
- Lily Aldrin: Can you believe that? He blames me! Oh, and by the way, Ted, I bet she'd still go out with you.
- Ted Mosby: Hm. Let me think. Do I wanna go out with a girl Barney hooked up with? Guys, help me out with the harmonies?
- Marshall Eriksen: Sure.
- Ted Mosby: Hell no...
- Robin Scherbatsky: Hell no...
- Marshall Eriksen: Hell no...
- Claire: Hell no...