Matt Stone credited as playing...
Kyle Broflovski • Kenny McCormick • Man Shot to Death • Mike • Butters • Mr. Testaburger
- Eric Cartman: Good morning South Park Elementary. These are the morning announcements. And I, am Eric Cartman. All forms for the school book drive must be handed it to Mr. Davis in the library by the end of the school day today. Hm, doesn't seem like they gave us a lot of notice on that, uh, 'kay. Oh well... For lunch today, the cafeteria will be serving a selection of cold sandwiches. Cold sandwiches. Oh well, thank you so much! Remember when we used to be served hot food? I mean, what has happened to our school? This school is transforming into something very bad, and why? Because we have leadership that doesn't care! I'm talking of course about our student body president, Wendy Testaburger! Ever since Wendy was elected student body president, this school has started a rapid decline towards some socialist regime where students no longer have a voice! The music room will be closed off today due to painting. All students in band and choir will meet in the gymnasium instead. Oh oh, so now, so now the school is using money to paint the music room. How old and outdated is our playground equipment? What other school has a fifteen-year-old merry-go-round on it? Our school president is turning this whole place into Communist Russia! It's not a coincidence that once Wendy took office this school started coming apart at the seams! Your teachers don't wanna tell you, but they are scared, and they should be, because the very fabric of this elementary school is tearing from all corners.
- Kyle Broflovski: Oh jeez!
- Eric Cartman: But hey, I'm just a normal kid, like you, except that I ask questions. And because I'm brave enough to ask questions, I come under scrutinies. Is Wendy using your lunch money to buy heroin? Probably not, but how can we know? I don't want my lunch money going to drugs! Who's taking these drugs? What would be the point? I'm asking questions!
- Kyle Broflovski: Will somebody shut him up?