Pelt

The B-horror movie seems to be going away. Long gone are the days of picking up a couple of "scary" movies from your local video store, buying some beer and inviting friends over to pick the movie apart. Today's B-horror either tries to be B-horror(thus losing the charm) or is so terrible and boring that there is nothing to make fun of. This film is the best laugh I have had in a while. It is just interesting enough to keep you keep watching and although I feel it does make fun of itself purposely on a couple of occasions, it is just serious enough to get the laughs going. For a B-movie to be funny, the golden rule is that the audience feels that the director has a masterpiece on his hands. No spoilers here: but the best laughs come from the bar scene in the beginning of the movie(particularly the "John" character), then later a female who keeps having a pain and describes it in detail, a certain character's sleeping apparel, the best stereotype of a yuppie jock in horror movie history(seriously) and the flying ax. That is just to name a few. Invite friends over, pour some refreshments and enjoy. This is as good as it gets for horror fun at the film's expense.

"Pelts" was a typical "hot twenty-somethings go into the woods and bad things happens" film. It was decently-made and could have been effective.

HOWEVER... the filmmakers made a huge miscalculation. During the 30 minutes of "character development," they made the protagonists -- three girls and four guys -- among the most revolting group of assholes I have ever seen on film. I am not kidding here, guys, it's one thing to make characters so revolting that you're rooting for the bad guys to kill them. Usually, that's because they're just annoying and we "know we're in a movie." But when you put characters out there that are so mean and sickening that you are rooting for the people they interact with to BECOME killers and kill them, you've done something special.

If they re-shot the first half hour and made the group more likable, this would be a FAR better film. But alas, we are left with that we have.

Also, to paraphrase the late Gene Siskel, "In a film like this, we deserve some nudity." The girls are hot, but remain fully clothed. And just to sort of "rub it in," the hottest girl -- Amber Bollinger -- does have a nice tank top on, but half-way through the film covers that tank top with a large bulky shirt which she wears for the rest of the movie.

Sheesh.

The filming was meh. The casting meh. The acting meh. Special effects meh. Overall the film was just that so, so. I do give it an A for effort though trying to be more than just a horror film full of hot teeny boppers with no brains. It has multiple attempts at some emotional moments, but then it goes back to the same old being chased here and there, but I do commend the effort. I'd say it gets a 3 at best, and thats because I round up. Most of that number is because of a brief moment between two characters that as I stated previous was at least an attempt to make this movie more than just ANOTHER horror movie. The acting and casting wasn't all bad, and Amber Bollinger is ridiculously attractive, like can't look away hott. Also something else I really appreciate is that there are no boobs, I mean I love boobs as much as the next guy, but anymore they have become their own character in horror films nowadays. They need to start calling them Whorror films really. But anyways that was a breath of fresh air to be honest.

Overall this is a netflix movie, that's where is currently resides, and rightfully so. It is mediocre in all aspects, leaves you with way to many questions like: Where did that person go for so long? What is the killer's motive? and so on. These are just a few examples of what i was left wondering.

NOT REALLY RECOMMENDED (Late night netflix movie to be played in the background.)

Does my summary sound familiar? It should, since this is the basis for many horror films we've seen; some of this ilk better than others. I'm happy to report that this is one of the better ones. You'll get lot's of smiles, a few chuckles, and maybe one or two out right laughs. Add to that an utterance or two of "gross", a surprise ending, and you're good to go. Note: Best viewed by leaving your thinking cap at home (as if you didn't know).

Seven young people set out on some quest to a site located in some out-of-the-way place in the wilderness somewhere via a rarely used route (Don't ever do that folks). The seven are: Three cute cockteasers whose only talent, I'm guessing, is skillfully applying make-up and locating items on sale at clothing stores to cocktease in. As for the four young men, I have names for them which should be indicative enough. I call one "Beer" (likes to say the word and never seems completely sober). Another I call "Screwloose". Here's a sampling: In the movie this guy pours beer on the seat of a chair freshly vacated by one of the afore mentioned cuties and laps it up. Then there's "Farts". Need I say more? I don't think so; --but I will. After he does his thing he uses his hands to waft it your way (Just the messenger folks, don't hate me). Then there's, well, "The Black Guy". I call him that because he's the most normal of the guys and so nothing much distinguishes him but that. Although I will say that when you see what this guy sleeps in you may well deduce that he has issues himself, only not as obvious as the others.

Having left their vehicles behind at a certain point in their journey, the young people don back-packs and begin their hike thru the woods. Screwloose finds a "No Trespassing" sign but hides it from the others with the help of The Black Guy. Eventually they set up camp and later one couple get it into their heads to go off into the night somewhere to make out (All I can say here is that in these type of movies it must be nature's way of weeding out the stupid; cruel but effective).

I think of this movie as a comedy-horror since REAL injury and distress is coupled with the silly banter, utterances and antics of the young people. The movie is called Pelt because there is a very sick freak out there with a thing for butchering and human skin. That I liked this movie surprised the hell out of me!! I always have low expectations when going to see these type of films. Possibly you too, I don't know. Anyway I think you'll like it. Nice mix of humor and violence. Love, Boloxxxi.

Pelt was a throwaway for me, a way to kill a few hours while doing something else, and I almost turned it off after the first five minutes, but I'm glad I stayed with it. Ultimately I put aside what I was doing and gave it my full attention.

Those who tuned out after the first five minutes can hardly be blamed. The movie tries very aggressively to make you dislike the characters in the opening sequences, which is inexplicable as the most effective and memorable horror movies set up the victims as real people so that you actually care about them (think "Audition"). Very bad move making the girls obnoxious cock teases and the boys frat-boy jerks -- I guess this was done to make you want to see them killed? To lighten up the savaging to come? Definitely a misstep, as the movie has lots of work to do to overcome that initial distaste -- it really opens like a revenge of the nerds type scenario, except without the nerds, only with the arrogant popular and beautiful snots.

But I hung with it and it quickly evolved into a tight little stalker flick, the characters shedding their one dimensional arrogance and actually assuming fairly human traits -- surprisingly human in fact. Of course the conceit of the plot is nothing new -- the stalkers are your typical back woods stalkers, and they are even doing what hick serial killers seem to most aspire to, but that doesn't really matter.

What matters most in a movie like this is watching a person or a small group be hunted and trying to deal with that situation, trying to survive. This movie does that remarkably well, and once the action begins will keep you engaged and interested, with more than the normal share of jolts.

I wouldn't be reluctant to suggest that you just skip the first 15 minutes of the movie altogether, as it's aggressively loathsome, and I suspect that's the reason that the movie has such a terrible rating. It might be a 3 for the first 15 minutes but it quickly becomes an 8 once the action starts.