Scavengers

I think first I have to mention how sad I am to see how low Sean Patrick Flanery has fallen since his inspired performance in "The Boondock Saints", to see him hamming it up as some cartoonish psychotic commander bad guy with a speech impediment that meant that he came over as nothing more menacing than a moron was truly horrifying and painful to watch.

The dialogue in this is stupid at best, certainly annoying and insulting to the intelligence of any who watch this waste of time. At times the dialogue was so ridiculous and forced that it only provokes a jaw drop at the idea that someone pitched this stupid script to a film maker and they actually made the film instead of throwing the script in the bin where it belonged.

The special effects could have been knocked up by any school kid with a computer, the sets were clearly "green screen" sets with poor quality computer modelling and rendering and the hard sets were clearly made by amateur props makers using such items as recognisable wireless computer keyboards glued to a surface and then spray painted to look like a console (They were doing that for such low budget TV programs as "Red Dwarf" which were infinitely more entertaining than this).

WARNING : Cheese Factor - Casu Marzu

Avoid, not even good enough for a wet Sunday afternoon. Script is clichéd as is a lot of the dialogue.

CGI is terrible with everything looking plastic. The lead bad guy says everything in this slow, low rough voice like he's trying to be Judge Dredd but just comes across as a moron. The bit part actors seem to have just been hired straight from some community acting society and are extremely wooden and monotonous.

As fox_wabvyi said in their review all the bad guys have really cheesy nicknames that exactly describe their character and skill set. At least I hope they are meant to be nicknames.

I'll make it short: This movie is nothing but awful. For my entertainment I would have been happy if this movie had just been a lower average science fiction flick since I have seen lots of movies of this genre and my expectations are rather low, but as a matter of fact this movie was plain boring, cheaply looking and a disappointment in every way. Looking at the visual effects was like a flashback into 1994 when I had fun watching the cut-scenes of "Wing Commander 3" (PC Game)... too bad for the movie it is 2013 already. This movie has a sticker on the box which states "Sci-Fi-Horror in style of Event Horizon" - This movie is another proof for the evidence that stickers like these are ALWAYS a warning notice!

The best thing I can say about this movie is that it's better than "Dark Metropolis." This is not saying much, to say the least; I turned it off after 10 minutes, if that...I would rather have slashed my wrists than watched that whole thing. I figured this had to be better. It almost was. Maybe. A bit.

I had a very bad feeling when in the first 90 seconds, we see an outer space battle & hear deep booming sounds each time one of the ships explodes & the rattatatat of space machine guns(!)...I don't expect movie makers to be physicists, but did they think that it's only screams that you can't hear in space? It's a VACUUM dummies; there is no sound transmission.

Kickin' special effects: -ship design by Edward Scissorhands. -"Hey gang, let's glue a bunch of keyboards & random crap to the walls & spraypaint 'em dark grey, it'll look keen!"

Capt Jekel talks as if his tongue was shot full of novocaine, but is VERY intense (whatever he's saying). He acts like William Shatner channeling Brad Pitt in "12 Monkeys" (who i always thought was silly). He also sounds constipated.

omg obligaroty shower scene walks around covered with blood for hours

Klassic Kuotes: "traitorous vixen"??? "your hate for him runs seductively deep"????? "there isn't a man i can't kill with the promise of a simple kiss."

costume had a lot of leg warmers left over, so they used them...as wrist warmers space chick with sexy blasters on her thigh

Still not exactly a soap. Not much better than one though. The German title "Space Soldiers" also promises something that sound more like an action movie than it is. But that is not the problem with Scavengers at hand here. The problem is, that while it's cute (and "dark"), it fails to impress on the jokes side. It tries hard to be funny and the actors are probably not as bad as they seem in this movie.

Unfortunately the timing is off and S.P. Flanery might try to outdo Steven Seagal with his performance here (alright it's not that bad. But still worse than anything else I've seen him do and I know he can act). Other than that you shouldn't be too fixed on the production values (because there are none), especially the cheap looking ... everything in it. Still they try their best to hide those things with fog/smoke inside a space ship(?). Yep it's that bad. If you still have a heart of Gold and can't be mad at the somewhat likable characters and some funny ideas (Twelve/Thirteen), you might like this more than you should. Until the end after end comes along ... maybe