Michael Weatherly: Anthony DiNozzo

Masquerade

Anthony DiNozzo

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Well I sure hope I'm not around when Miss Hart finds out he used her client as bait... or maybe I do.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What kind of people?
Special Agent Timothy McGee: He said the kind of people he wouldn't want to meet with.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [to Gibbs] We knocking?
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: No!
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Would you like the honors?
[Gibbs indicates his injured arm]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Oh yeah. I forgot.

Ziva David: This country holds itself to a higher standard. It is a nation of laws which are to be followed not only when it is convenient or easy. I have seen firsthand what happens when convenience wins out.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You never talk about it.
Ziva David: What is there to talk about?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [Long pause] Come on, Ziva.
Ziva David: What Saleem did was bad enough. Becoming like him would be worse.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Why don't you pick the lock and find out?
Ziva David: We DO NOT have a Warrant!
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: This building is foreclosed. Which means it is owned by the banks and since the people own the banks, I think technically we own the building.
Ziva David: WOW!
[shocked at his logic]

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: First a plague, now radiation poisoning. I'm starting to think someone really has it in for me.
Special Agent Timothy McGee: I was there too, near the car, you know.
Ziva David: We *all* were.
Special Agent Timothy McGee: But don't let that stop you from thinking about yourself.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: This isn't about me, it's about my little DiNozzo-makers. They've been nuked.
Special Agent Timothy McGee: I know!
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Do you? I mean, sure, Tim your kids are gonna be smart, but mine had a shot at being really beautiful.

Margaret Allison Hart: I imagine you spend more on your hair than it costs to feed a third world family for a year.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [laughs] How much does that cost?

[learning there is the threat of a dirty bomb, Tony, McGee and Ziva all exit the elevator, talking on their cell phones over each other, conducting three different inquiries]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [finishing] ... and nobody talk to the press!
Special Agent Timothy McGee, Ziva David: [finishing together] ... and do not talk to the press!
Guy Ross: [on TV] This just in...
Ziva David: Actually, I think it's a little too late for that.

[McGee, dressed in a tuxedo at his desk, is attending a friend's wedding in Spain, via video chat]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I would be laughing, if I wasn't on the edge of tears.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: There's no way he's our guy. Not a suicide bomber in the world who would have a girlfriend who looks like that.

Special Agent Timothy McGee: That's weird.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Weirder than you carrying a head around in a bag and forgetting about it?