Chevy Chase credited as playing...
Pierce Hawthorne
- Annie Edison: Let's get back to Britta and Jeff.
- Jeff Winger: There is no Britta and Jeff!
- Pierce Hawthorne: He said, fully erect.
- Pierce Hawthorne: [Abed, Jeff and Troy enter the vending machine area] Hey! What the hell?
- Star-Burns: I got you covered, bro.
- Pierce Hawthorne: You guys formed an alliance without me?
- Jeff Winger: Yeah. You with Star-Burns?
- Pierce Hawthorne: Not if I can be with you.
- [shoots Star-Burns in the back]
- Star-Burns: Ow!
- Pierce Hawthorne: Ha. It's just Star-Burns.
- Abed Nadir: Anyone else need a pee break?
- Jeff Winger, Troy Barnes: Yeah.
- Abed Nadir: Hey.
- Star-Burns: Hey.
- Pierce Hawthorne: I'll stand guard. I don't need to pee. I'm wearing a diaper for the game.
- Jeff Winger: Oh, yeah.
- [sarcastically]
- Jeff Winger: "For the game."
- [the study group is pinned down by the glee club]
- Jeff Winger: Pierce! Do NOT come over here!
- Pierce Hawthorne: Screw you! I'm coming over there!
- [Pierce crawls out from behind cover and gets hit multiple times]
- Pierce Hawthorne: Medic!
- Dean Pelton: Hey, everybody. Just a reminder. Our spring fling is on the quad today. Music, food, activities. What, what?
- Pierce Hawthorne: Ha. He makes me uncomfortable.
- Dean Pelton: Mm. Still in the room.