Matt Damon credited as playing...
Max
- Android Police Officer: [Referring to Max's backpack] What's in the bag?
- Max: [Max's head is shaved bald] Hair products, mostly.
- Matilda: There once was a meerkat who lived in the jungle. He was hungry, but he was small. So small. And the other big animals had all the food, because they could reach the fruits. So he made friends with a hippopotamus to...
- Max: [interrupting her] Okay, stop. It doesn't end well for the meerkat.
- Matilda: Yes it does, because he can stand on the hippopotamus's back to get all the fruits he wants.
- Max: What's in it for the hippo?
- Matilda: [precociously] The hippo wants a friend.
- Max: Frey.
- Frey: Max? Max, where are you?
- Max: I'm gonna have to break my promise. I can't make it back up there. You remember what I said when we were kids?
- Frey: Yes.
- Young Max: [Flash back] I'll take us there one day.
- Young Frey: Really?
- Young Max: Yeah, I promise.
- Max: You wouldn't believe what I'm looking at now. Tell Matilda I really liked her story. And I... I figured out why the hippo did it.
- [presses the key]
- Max: What happened?
- Android Medic: You have been exposed to a lethal dose of radiation. You will experience catastrophic organ failure. In five days' time, you will die.
- Armadyne Worker: Check it out, man. I think he likes you.
- Max: Think he got his face peel today? He looks good.
- Max: Hello. Ah, before we start I'd just like to explain...
- Android Parole Officer: Max de Costa. Violation of Penal Code 2219, today at bus stop 34B.
- Max: Yes, that's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. You see, I believe there's been a misunderstanding...
- Android Parole Officer: Immediate extension of parole by a further eight months.
- Max: Wait, what? No, no no. I can explain what happened. I just made a joke, and, uh, you know...
- Android Parole Officer: Stop talking. Police officers noted violent and antisocial behavior. We regret that we must extend parole. Elevation in heart rate detected. Would you like a pill?
- Max: No, thank you. What I'd like to do is explain...
- Android Parole Officer: Stop talking. Personality matrix suggests a 78.3% chance of regression to old behavior patterns: grand theft auto; assault with a deadly weapon; resisting arrest. Would you like to talk to a human?
- Max: [in robotic voice] No. I am okay. Thank you.
- Android Parole Officer: Are you being sarcastic and/or abusive?
- Max: Negative.