Tommy Lee Jones credited as playing...
- Dr. Feld: Was oral sex an option? Is that something that you would do regularly?
- Arnold: No, I, I, I, I don't - uh, no.
- Kay: I was not very - I'm - I was not comfortable with that.
- Dr. Feld: Giving or receiving?
- Kay: Huh?
- Dr. Feld: All right. This is good.
- Arnold: Good. Yeah. Good for you. The more we tear each other apart, the more money we have to pay you to put it back together.
- Kay: You have to stop yelling at me.
- Arnold: [loudly] Who's yelling?
- Dr. Feld: Kay and Arnold, I'm so glad you are here.
- Arnold: Well, that makes one of us.
- Arnold: I tell you one thing. We're going to Florida to see my mother next year for the full two weeks.You have forfeited your right to complain.
- Arnold: Is there a building in this place that does *not* have shutters? The whole town looks like it was built by Hansel and Gretel.
- Kay: Maybe he just wanted people to have to get away.
- Arnold: Yeah, from what? Cellphone service?
- Arnold: If you want to go to intensive couples counselling all by yourself, I'll see you when you get back.
- Arnold: We're not in the same tax bracket as your other patients.
- Arnold: Marriage!
- Dr. Feld: What does that word mean to you?
- Arnold: It means we have a marriage licence and I pay all the bills.
- Dr. Feld: You're back! Let's talk about that.
- Arnold: Let's not. Let's just, uh... I'm-I'm back, alright? That ought to be enough.
- Dr. Feld: It isn't actually.
- Arnold: What do you-what do you want from me, blood?
- Arnold: Okay, next step. What is it? Write a poem? Hold hands in public? Sing a serenade?
- Dr. Feld: Sex.
- Arnold: Have you been to see Dr. Lesser? Maybe this has something to do with that hormonal thing.
- Kay: I am not crazy, Arnold!
- Kay: I'm really glad you came, Arnold.
- Arnold: Yeah? Well, you tell me that when we get lost and wind up in downtown Montreal and everybody's talking French.
- Dr. Feld: This makes you uncomfortable talking about this, doesn't it?
- Arnold: Well, sue me because I don't want to talk about having sex with my wife with a total stranger.
- Arnold: If he says one word about repressed memories, I am leaving.
- Dr. Feld: Was it the missionary position? Arnold on top?
- Kay: Oh, yeah.
- Dr. Feld: Was it always missionary position?
- Arnold: Oh, please.
- Kay: Mostly, yes.
- Dr. Feld: Were there particular things that you enjoyed doing?
- Kay: Mostly it was the same.
- Dr. Feld: Arnold, let's talk about you. What do you enjoy sexually?
- Arnold: Sex.
- Dr. Feld: If you could have anything you wanted in your sex life with Kay, what would that be? Did you have fantasies that you didn't feel comfortable telling her about?
- Arnold: Of course. Well, I guess I used to think about Kay giving me a - giving me oral - you know - at work - under the desk - at tax time.
