Kunal Nayyar credited as playing...
Raj Koothrappali
- [last lines]
- Rajesh Koothrappali: And the next morning, when he woke up, he rolled over and realized... don, don, don... she was his cousin.
- [Leonard and Raj laugh hysterically]
- Howard Wolowitz: That's still not funny.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: [mimicking Howard] That's still not funny.
- [they laugh even harder]
- Howard Wolowitz: And she was my *second* cousin.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: And she was my *second* cousin.
- [more laughing]
- Howard Wolowitz: You're a real douche.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: Who cares! You slept with your *cousin*!
- [Leonard and Raj laugh hysterically again]
- Leonard Hofstadter: I wish Penny didn't have to work; she loves camping.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: Yeah, that would've been great: you and Penny having sex in the tent while I sit out here and watch Howard hump a cactus.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: If I could speak the language of rabbits, they would be amazed and I would be their king.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I hate my name. It has "nerd" in it. Len-nerd.
- Howard Wolowitz: I lost my virginity to my cousin Jeannie.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: I would be kind to my rabbit subjects... at first.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You know what's a cool name? Angelo. That has "angel" and "jello" in it.
- Howard Wolowitz: It was my uncle Murray's funeral. We were all back at my aunt Barbara's house. Our eyes locked over the pickled herring. We never meant for it to happen!
- Rajesh Koothrappali: One day, I hold a great ball for the President of France, but the rabbits they hate me and don't come. I'm embarrassed so I eat all the lettuce in the world and make them watch.
- Leonard Hofstadter: People could call me Angie. Yo, Angie! How's it goin'?
- Howard Wolowitz: To this day, I can't look at pickled herring without being aroused and ashamed.
- [sighs]
- Howard Wolowitz: Cousin Jeannie.
- Howard Wolowitz: Too bad Sheldon couldn't come with us.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: Yeah, it's just not the same without him.
- [Leonard, Rajesh and Howard break up laughing]
- Leonard Hofstadter: I can feel it. I can feel the Earth moving! It's moving too fast! Raj! Slow it down!
- [Raj strains]
- Rajesh Koothrappali: Okay, how's that?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Better. Thanks.
- [first lines]
- Howard Wolowitz: How much time do we have?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Uh, T minus five hours thirty-seven minutes to onset of meteor shower.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: Okay, our position is thirty-four point forty-eight degrees north, a hundred and eighteen point thirty-one west; that means the azimuth should be a hundred and sixty-eight point twenty-two degrees relative to magnetic north with an elevation of forty-nine point nighty-three.
- Howard Wolowitz: Anything yet?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Uh, we have a signal but there's no frame lock.
- Howard Wolowitz: Hang on. How 'bout... now?
- Rajesh Koothrappali: We did it. We have the west coast feed of HBO.
- Howard Wolowitz: Mmm, Real Sex.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: Big deal. Every time I watch that show it's old women putting condoms on cucumbers.
- Howard Wolowitz: Okay, the best I can tell, there are eight other campsites nearby. Mostly science nerds like us, but just over yon ridge are two not unattractive middle-school teachers who reek of desperation.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: Wonderful. How old are they?
- Howard Wolowitz: I don't know, 50, 55?
- Rajesh Koothrappali: Oh, menopause. Heh. Nature's birth control.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Come on. You guys can't be that hard up.