Titanic II

The black guy at the Coast Guard headquarters, toothless. Anyone notice? From the imitation special effects to the silicone breasts, I've seen better hommade vacation videos. I can't imagine paying to buy this DVD, this is the most awful movie I have ever seen. The acting was high school thespian at best, they all appeared to be students of some second rate acting school. I would not recommend this video to anyone. Out of respect to the original Titanic and the poor souls who went down with her, it is a shame that such a poorly done movie about a new Titanic was done so cheaply and with such low budget actors. This is a waste of film and money.

The opening credits were fairly sparse and went by nicely, and the ending credits had many words and names. I noticed most of the words were also spelled correctly. In between the beginning and ending credits there was a bunch of stuff that really could have been cut from the movie. Many of the scenes had people in them, and were in color. They exist in a sort of Adventure Time universe where reality is constantly changing - either that or the plot make no sense. No spoilers here, it's what the title implies: ship driving around the ocean, bashes into a big hunk of ice while frantically driving away from it, and hilarity ensues. If this was a high school project, I would say it deserved at least a B. As long as it wasn't a senior high school project.

Funniest quote: "The lifeboats are death traps!" - said by a guy in a chopper who obviously knew this in advance.

Not only a waste of a hour and a half of my evening but quite possibly of my entire life! It was so painful I do not believe I could begin to adequately describe the trauma I now feel - I genuinely write this as a warning to my fellow human beings who value their sanity. Never in my life have I seen work (of any form) of such poor quality. Having only just finished viewing this film I feel the need for a shower and referral to a good psychiatrist. I've been more entertained watching paint dry - and a tin of paint could produce/direct a better cinematic experience. Simple put, if 0 out of 10 was I option I'd have awarded that instead - I want my 1.5 hours back!! THE HORROR, THE HORROR!!

It's laugh-out-loud BAD. The script, acting, plot are all woeful and my 12yr old could have done a more convincing job with the CGI. Most of it is filmed on the real Queen Mary which is now a hotel in Long Beach, Ca or in a concrete bunker, sorry, "engine room". They hired about 20 extras from the local homeless shelter by the look of them who wander around aimlessly or fall over their own feet during "action" sequences. There is some preachy stuff about global warming backed up by bogus "science" and a 800mph tsunami (that's faster than the speed of sound folks!). I hope this movie was released as a joke but fear it wasn't. But seriously, if you haven't seen it yet then please do so because it's hilarious and you'll have lots of fun spotting the glaring errors, continuity bloopers, wooden acting and super-low budget production. It's so bad it's good.

This was the worst piece of television I have ever seen. Shane Van Dyke was having a laugh when he made this. The effects were a total joke, looked like a PC game from about 10 years ago. The story was madness (an 800mph tsunami forces an iceberg into the path of the titanic). James Cameron must have been laughing his head off. Acting was awful, can't believe any actors would star in this film even for money. If you have 2 hours of your life you don't want to get back, you should watch this film. Almost so bad it's actually good. I hope they don't consider a titanic 3 because that would really be a disgrace to the film industry.