Mark Harmon: Leroy Jethro Gibbs

Moonlighting

Leroy Jethro Gibbs

NCIS Agent Susan Grady: I'm an 080 security specialist, not a full-time agent. I got clearance from the director before I started freelancing.
Senior FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: Wait. Director Vance knows?
NCIS Agent Susan Grady: No, this was Director Shepard. This was, I think, February of '08.
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Susan, you're not in trouble.
NCIS Agent Susan Grady: I know I'm not in trouble. I haven't broken any regulations.
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Then stop acting defensive.
NCIS Agent Susan Grady: I'm not acting! I'm genuinely feeling on the defensive. You have a very off-putting way of putting people... you know, off.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You spent like 6 hours online last night. You need to unplug. Talk to real people.
Special Agent Timothy McGee: Uh, these are real people, Tony.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: *Living* breathing people with lungs and skin you can touch and interact with. Gotta find you one of those.
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [Gibbs enters] Yeah, well. I got one of the other kind. Petty Officer washed up on a Maryland beach. Grab your stuff.
Jimmy Palmer: [Excitedly] Oh all right!... That is not an appropriate reaction, is it?

Senior FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: [to Gibbs] You have a surveillance camera in the Conference Room now? Hope you don't have one in the elevator.
Leon Vance: We don't. Not yet at least, Agent Fornell. How can I help you?
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Borrow your TV.
Leon Vance: And my copy of Emily Post. Door was closed.

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Petty officer washed up on a Maryland beach. Grab your stuff.
Jimmy Palmer: Oh all right!
[Gibbs gives him a look]
Jimmy Palmer: That is not an appropriate reaction is it?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I know, Boss. I'm as shocked as you are, but *Ziva* invited the Gremlin up here.
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Don't get him wet.

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: You still investigating those mob hits?
Senior FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: Hence the undercover beard. I'm worried. If it gets a little bigger...
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: People are gonna start thinking you're Kenny Rogers.
Senior FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: The hits.
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: I'm gonna start calling you the Gambler.

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [as Gibbs is about take a polygraph] Where are you thinking of clipping that thing?
NCIS Agent Susan Grady: Uh, it's for the sphincter sensor.
Senior FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: [laughing] Oh geez!

Special Agent Timothy McGee: [ID'ing a second victim at their crime scene] Well, no names coming up in AFIS. Oh, wait a second, boss. We've got a red flag here. It says to contact the FBI.
Ziva David: I think I recognize this guy. Isn't it...?
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Stefano Delmar.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Who?
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Organized crime. Up-and-comer. Our petty officer stumbled onto a hit.

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: You know what my problem is? My only suspect makes 30 grand a year, and he just spent $40,000 on damn new fishing boat!

Bill: Gnarly, dude!
Ted: Yeah, for real.
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Words. Use 'em! Helpful ones.
Ted: We're sleeping in our van, yo, right. And we hear "Bam! Bam! Boom! Boom! Crack! Crack!"
Bill: Gun shots, dude. That's what I said. I was like "Dude, gunshots!" Right?
Ziva David: So you're saying there were 6 gunshots.
Bill: No, two gunshots, but there was like an echo. And he was like "Dude, don't look", but I was like "Dude we're lookin'!"
Ted: Yeah, and then we like peeked through the windows. And we saw two dudes drive off in a black Lincoln.
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Two? You're sure it wasn't an echo?
Bill: Yeah, two dudes.

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [to their murder suspect] You really think you're such a natural that you didn't leave behind a single red hair? You never faced your victims, but you still murdered them.
Senior FBI Agent T.C. Fornell: You know, it doesn't matter that you think they had it coming. You were appointed judge. Not jury and executioner.