The Christmas Tree

Judging by "The Christmas Tree", one would assume that producer Flamarion Ferreira and writer Nels Christianson have been isolated from the rest of humanity for most of their lives. I suppose they were going for a "family movie" vibe but everything feels... off. The plot is boring, the dialog is atrocious, and the animation is just bizarre. The whole thing is just creepy which probably isn't the adjective they were hoping would be used to describe this production. But the fact that this train wreck somehow got distribution shows that literally ANYONE can make and sell a film no matter how bad it is.

Never watching this thing again. Absolute garbage. This thing was so cheaply made that it's mainly just a slideshow of bad drawings with a narrator talking in the background. The voice acting was terrible. One of the kids was actually impossible to understand, because they evidently just recorded a little girl blabbering on about who knows what.

The adult actors are terrible as well. Their voice acting shows a severe lack of emotion. In one scene, a child goes missing, and when said child's mother finds out, her tone of voice says "Oh well. Could have been worse"

And the plot... let's not go there.

With the right execution, a combination of an animation based around Christmas could have worked out well. Unfortunately with The Christmas Tree, the execution was just wrong and it didn't work out at all. The animation is, like the three terrible animated Titanic movies, terribly static, the character designs will leave kids traumatised, there is no fluidity(and little movement, for that matter), it looks very sparse and the colours are completely flat. The synthesised music is just as creepy as the character designs, has no warmth to it and for personal tastes doesn't fit at all. The dialogue is very corny and tired, further disadvantaged by the sloppy lip-synching(find a moment where the dialogue actually matches the lip movements actually). Every bit as bad is the voice acting, which is just as bad as the voice acting for the Video Brinquedo animations, which has some of the worst voice acting in all mankind. Monotone, garbled and wooden has been described, and those three words sum the voice acting up brilliantly, if there has been worse voice acting for children in any animation(film, show or special) I've yet to hear it. You don't identify with the characters one bit, they have dull or obnoxious personalities and how they're animated and voice further accentuate that, the titular character is almost completely sidelined. And the story screams of laziness, mean-spirited instead of heart-warming, dull instead of thrilling and full of padding that has no relevance whatsoever to what's happening in the first place. Admittedly the idea wasn't a particularly great or original one to begin with, but if The Christmas Tree was watchable at least that wouldn't have mattered. So in conclusion, as bad as has been said, even worse than Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer, Legend of Frosty the Snowman, Star Wars Holiday Special and Frosty Returns(Night B4 Christmas I remember hating as well). A disgrace to animation and you won't feel festive watching it. 1/10 Bethany Cox

I have a little secret. Come closer... closer... Jeez, not THAT close. Now, I'm going to tell you a secret... And I don't want it to go any further than between you, me and the millions of other people who read my reviews. Do you understand?

I enjoy watching SOME bad movies. Not the ones that bore me to tears, or the cheesy ones, the unfunny ones... you get the picture. I'm referring to the flicks that are so terrible in every single department, they exude a weird kind of fascination. Who wrote this? Who paid for this? Who agreed to it's release? AND WHERE THE HECK IS MY TUNA MAYO SANDWICH?!

*Ahem* Ssooo... this brings me neatly to The Christmas Tree, which is a TV movie that you'll in all likelihood never see, but one which fulfills all the above criteria to a tee. (HEY IT RHYMES!!!) I found out about it online where it built up a rather infamous reputation, and being the sucker I am I just had to open Pandora's Box and give it a sneak peek.

Ladies and Gentleman... It did NOT disappoint. Well, it does if you're after a heartwarming spectacle for the festive period, but I didn't go into it with that mindset, Y'see? The creepy, almost static animation. The random, nonsensical plot. The barely coherent voiceovers. The dialogue. Oh my, the dialogue. Who speaks like this? Clue: no-one.

At only 45 minutes long, it leaves a lasting impression... of the wrong kind. Wasn't there ANYONE, somewhere along the production line, who took a closer look at the steaming pile that were putting together, and realised the horror they were about to unleash? Didn't anyone attempt to stop it, and make themselves a hero in the process?

Apparently not... and thousands of families around the globe are paying the price for their inaction. Remember kids, all it takes is for one good man to do nothing, and... 1/10.

POSSIBLE SPOILERS, NOT THAT ANYONE WILL READ THIS REVIEW OR SEE THIS FILM:

I just saw The Nostalgia Critic's review of this made-for-TV animated "Christmas" movie, just published on Christmas day, 2013! It is probably the one and only review this "Christmas" movie ever got. I put "Christmas" in quotations in that, except for a brief fly-over by Santa Claus where he nearly electrocutes the bad guy and magically gives orphans new clothes (all of which takes less than 30 seconds), Christmas is never mentioned. There was an army of animators for this film, which is curious because it is so badly done, and the script (if you can call it that) absolutely did not merit the time and effort it took to make this. I have no doubt the TV stations that aired it were angry about what it must have done to their ratings. It completely misses the spirit of Christmas, and desperate to wrap things up at the end, the narrator says "and so as you can see, you always win when you're good". Uh, what? There's about 2,000 years of history to contradict that.

I feel bad for the animators that put so much effort into producing something so forgettable and irrelevant; I wonder what they thought about it? We will never know, as there are no other reviews for it, and no information about it is available. You will be wasting your time and inflicting considerable pain on yourself if you see this 45 minute film, but you will at least have fun watching The Nostalgia Critic tear it apart. There is so much wrong with this film, that it took him over 30 minutes just to point it all out, which is almost as long as the film! If you want a Christmas animated special, "The Christmas Tree" isn't it. Not that it matters, as it isn't available anywhere; which is perhaps how it should be (alright, you can find it on YouTube; which is probably the only thing saving it from extinction).