Helldriver

Okay, when you go to see a so-bad-it's-good horror/zombie movie, there are a few expectations that need to be met and I could never get past the fact that the act of watching zombies getting killed wasn't amusing. Seriously. The movie used thousands of liters of blood and all too often watching it spray was not remotely funny. The movie delivers on a lot of fronts, but at the end of the day there was too much gore and weird sh*t going on and not enough hilarity and cheering on the hero on screen.

When I saw the movie, it was the headliner for a horror movie film festival and by all means all of the circumstances for movie success were there, but it was just one of those ineffable things where the movie just didn't live up to the expectations.

tl;dr Had potential, but not as entertaining/lighthearted as it should have been

Another Yoshihiro Nishimura and Sushi Typhoon production, Helldriver has all the elements that are the mainstays of the producer and studio. You will find gore and horror mixed in with an abundance of absurdity.

I personally enjoy the absurdity of the Yoshihiro Nishimura and Sushi Typhoon movies and this was no exception. This movie is a cheaply made exploitation B movie. The producers know this and don't try to foist it off as anything other then what it is. This is what makes it watchable.

Helldriver does start off rather slow. It took me several attempts to finish this movie. In fact I would say the setup, the starting 1/3 of the movie was rather dull. Then the action starts.

Once the action gets going it really gets going zombies, exploding zombies, zombie gangsters, flying zombies, transformer zombies and the good guys fighting them.

The acting is minimalistic, probably because no one could act but then again its a zombie action movie. The girls all look good showered with blood and screaming/shouting in anger.

Im only giving this movie a 6 due to its slow start. I started watching the movie then got pulled away and it took me months to get back to this movie again. However the 2/3 made up for it. Im looking forward to more movies from these guys.

"Everything is glorious!"

These kind of ultra-violent, chaotic Japanese movies are very tricky. When they work, they're awesome. An amusing, bemusing, exciting mishmash of craziness that gives new meaning to the word "ridiculous". But Helldriver, like so many of these gonzo films, just doesn't quite pull off what it's aiming for. 

And that's certainly not for lack of trying. This tale of zombies and chainsaw swords throws everything at the viewer possible, and I have to commend the filmmakers for the sheer levels of WTF they came up with. Zombie women using zombie babies attached by zombie umbilical cords as weapon, truck versus zombie sword fights, and a zombie car are just a few of the insane ideas you'll see on display, here. I can't count the number of times I simply had to shake my head and smile at the fact that someone came up with all of this stuff. There's even a battle near the end that's eerily reminiscent of The Battle of Helm's Deep in The Two Towers, except with way fewer humans and WAY more blood. The inventiveness of Helldriver is the best thing it has going for it, by far. 

But amidst all the blood fountains and giant flying zombies made out of smaller zombies, the director and writers forgot to add the entertainment. How a movie can be absolutely insane and so dull at the same time is a mystery, to me.

The plot is non-existent, even for this kind of flick. Our main character has a back-story with an evil mother and uncle that leads to the entire zombie infestation and her transformation into a half-mechanical warrior, but the scenes dealing with that are among the most boring in the entire movie. There are really no likable or interesting characters, either, which would have gone a long way towards making Helldriver easier to enjoy. 

It might be worth checking out for the undeniable strangeness of it all, but I still have to say I was more disappointed than pleased with Helldriver.

The new entry into the "J-sploitation" genre, or what I've lovingly dubbed it "the purposefully hilarious, batshit crazy Asian B-movie" genre, this time from renowned splatter director Yoshihiro Nishimura, the genius behind "Tokyo Gore Police". We're treated to people lap dancing on spinal columns, alien starfish, a scene straight out of Power Rangers featuring zombies using their newborn (umbilical cord an all) as projectiles, an eight armed zombie that sounds like the putty patrol, a zombie seemingly made of weapons fighting an armored car, a car made of zombies, a fight sequence on top of a rocket propelled airplane made of zombies, zombies playing the accordion, zombies getting anally jousted with a chainsaw sword, the title sequence appearing after the hour mark, overall hilarious dialog and much, much more. It may not be as brilliant as its contemporaries but "Helldriver, RoboGeisha, Machine Girl", etc. all prove that nobody makes B-movies like the Asians, not even The Asylum. Also, it's still very strange seeing Eihi Shiina in this crazy villain role after seeing her in "Audition" but she's still amazing.

I love Asian cinema. I love gore from time to time, but I am not big fan of gory flicks.... but this one is damn entertaining. Fans of the genre will surely love it (as well as gorehounds) but other more mainstream audiences will hate it and get confused most of the time.

"Helldriver" is what could be considered "new wave of Japanese grindhouse" and it has everything good grindhouse needs: little to no story, weird moments, lot of gore, violence and blood. There's not much nudity in this one, but gore and blood splatters go over the top in every possible way.

Plot is rather simple: meteor (!?) falls to Earth, turning nearly all people in Japan into some kind of zombie mutants. Kika (Yumiko Hara) is sent to chop the heck out of them and kill mutant leader. Other folks join her in her mission. Now, first part of the movie is bit awkward (in a good) way, having nice amount of social\ politics\religious satire (but gore and action scenes still happen here) and somewhere around the half of the movie, title shows up (not kidding). After that, the movie "really" begins, which is pretty much hack'n'slash after that.

What makes HELLDRIVER great is that movie doesn't take itself very seriously (I was laughing most of the time, even in bloodiest scenes), gore FX are well done, and what impresses me the most are makeup effects on some "boss" monsters. I swear, at least half of the budget must have gone on makeup and fake blood (and this movie has insane amount of blood, maybe even more then Peter Jackson's "Braindead").

Some really cool villains (and original) and great fight scenes (and hilarious at the same time!) with them. Most of the time you'll keep asking yourself "how the heck they are gonna top the last scene" in terms of (un)logic, visuals and action.

Yumiko Hara is also very pretty and looks like Japanese action heroine. Hope we'll see more of her in future. Eihi Shiina (from Tokyo Gore Police, Audition) plays main villain, and she's wonderful as usual. Her scenes are over the top most of the time, but they fit movie perfectly, since Helldriver itself is way over the top in every possible element.

Turn off your logic and remember "it's just a movie". Enjoy the mayhem that happens on screen, and you'll surely like Helldriver.