Kevin Hart credited as playing...
Dante Slate, Jr.
- [from trailer]
- Lightning: Hey Webster, show a little respect!
- Dante Slate, Jr.: I choose to believe that you just called me Webster because of my dictionary-sized vocabulary, *not* because of my height and race!
- Lightning: Nope, it's because you're short and black!
- Dante Slate, Jr.: What was Jesus like? I'm curious. Was he cool?
- Dante Slate, Jr.: I can get you a part in Hangover 4!
- Evander Holyfield: I'm listening.
- Mike Tyson: You sonofabitch!
- [goes for Slate]
- Dante Slate, Jr.: Wait, WAIT, WAIT!
- Evander Holyfield: Guard your ears!
- Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: I banged his girlfriend. It was an error in judgement, look how it turned out...
- [walks off]
- Dante Slate, Jr.: This is some white people shit...
- Dante Slate, Jr.: Come on, Evander! So the man went batshit and bit your ear off, it's not like he enjoyed it!
- Mike Tyson: It tasted like ass!
- Dante Slate, Jr.: Hear that? You didn't taste good!
- [at a skydiving stunt, Razor shoves Kid out of the plane]
- Dante Slate, Jr.: You threw his old ass out the plane!
- [Dante breaks into laughter]
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Why are you laughing?
- Dante Slate, Jr.: I forgot to tell you, first one down gets an extra five grand.
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Shit!
- [jumps out]
- [from trailer]
- Dante Slate, Jr.: I got a copy that wants an official rematch, they'll pay you a hundred grand!
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Well, I can't be in the same room as that guy. It's not worth it.
- Dante Slate, Jr.: The hell you mean, it ain't worth it? I'm looking at your house!
- Dante Slate, Jr.: [his feet in a bucket] I gotta wash this vinegar off my feet. This is strong vinegar, it smells awful. This vinegar went bad!
- [Lightning grins]
- [from trailer]
- Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: I wanted to see my old friend, he's been ducking me for thirty years! I missed him!
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: It don't look like you're missing any meals. I'm outta here!
- Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: [wallops Sharp] No you're not!
- [a fight starts]
- Dante Slate, Jr.: This is not the behavior of old men!
- [as the fight begins]
- Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: Is this about you and me, or is about her?
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: You and me!
- Dante Slate, Jr.: Well, that's a relief!
- Dante Slate, Jr.: You don't know what a video game is? Exactly when did they unfreeze you, Captain America?
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Captain America? You know, I could take you down a peg or two... but it looks like someone beat me to it.
- Dante Slate, Jr.: I got a kid in primary school, he's surrounded only by white kids! You know what that means? It means he owes people! He's already promised one kid a bar mitzvah! Do you know how much a bar mitzvah costs?
- Dante Slate, Jr.: A man turns 60, all of a sudden he's washed up and you kick him out of the workplace? That may have been fine 100 years ago, when men were dying at the age of 50. But in this world, it's different. The elderly are strong. Their spirit is strong. And they have a voice. And that voice is in these two men, and they will be heard. Respect, bitches!
- [at the fight, Lightning gets out of his scooter]
- Lightning: You see all that heat out there? I'm getting some snapper tonight!
- Dante Slate, Jr.: I think I just threw up in my mouth...
- Dante Slate, Jr.: [to Lightning] You think you're the only one who got ripped off? All my dad left me was a bad reputation!
- Dante Slate, Jr.: [to Razor] What's the matter, did you wake up on the wrong side of the tenement this morning?