Alongside Night

Jeez Louise, where do I even start? Calling this movie a "train wreck" would be an insult to train wrecks. I doubt any train wreck could ever be as abominable as this movie is. Heck, I would rather be in a train wreck than watch this again. I've seen better acting in home movies (better production values, too). The dialogue is laughably bad. The pace is leaden. It's so torturously slow that it makes The Blair Witch Project look like a Road Runner cartoon. On paper, it sounds like a "so-bad-it's-fun" movie, but it's not. It's really not.

Imagine watching a grainy recording of paint drying, played in super slow motion, narrated by Gilbert Gottfried. Imagine further that you are being tickle tortured, having toothpicks stuck under your fingernails, and having teeth extracted without anesthesia all at the same time. Imagine further still that you are being force fed the contents of a septic tank while all this is happening.

If you can imagine all of this, then you have a pretty good idea of what watching this is like.

One of the ten worst English speaking movies of all time. Strap a suspected terrorist in a chair to watch a loop of this movie and in between screams he/she will confess to John F. Kennedy's assassination or to being behind fluoridation of drinking water ... for the love of Allah, just please stop the torture. Alongside Night is a pure vanity project by the book's author J. Neil Schulman. There are Youtube videos by 12-year-old kids that have more professional production values than this movie. Heck, there are silent movies made 100 years ago that were more professionally produced. The book could have come to life in a captivating movie if Kevin Sorbo had been able to bring in the production team from his old Hercules TV series, and the script had been written and the movie directed by professionals who know how to capture and entertain an audience.

Knowing something about the difficulties in the making of this movie, I sat in genuine open-mouthed awe.

Author, producer, and director J. Neil Schulman just died a couple nights ago, as I type, and I have cried buckets already. Watching this astonishingly good movie, I have cried even more: What an extraordinary talent we have lost.

J. Neil and I never met, but we exchanged many communications. I felt we were more than acquaintances, and we were certainly allies.

I have been impressed by his writings for decades now, and recently I discovered his short posts on Facebook were often hilarious.

J. Neil was an advocate of human liberty. I notice many of the negative reviewers here dislike that concept. They prefer authoritarianism, or even tyranny, judging by their words. Of course they won't like this movie.

But it is so good, it has such an engrossing story, and it is so well acted, so well directed, so well photographed, one need not be in philosophical agreement to appreciate, admire, and like "Alongside Night."

Of course I was predisposed to like it, but what I saw just overwhelmed me with its inventiveness and great production values, and even a good score.

My only complaint, and I am crying as I type this, is that I didn't see and review this excellent creation so J. Neil could know how much more I admire him, how much more I marvel at his talent, after watching "Alongside Night."

I do highly recommend this movie, and hope millions of people will buy a copy. It won't help J. Neil now, and he desperately needed the money in his last years, but it will be a tribute to him, a small way to say "J. Neil Schulman, R.I.P."

While I'm sure its target audience, those who are already familiar with the source material, will probably enjoy this movie, for those of us in the mainstream, the whole thing comes across as a poorly thought out political screed. There's unexplained jargon thrown around, massive plot holes (the economy has collapsed, yet Vegas is still full of green grass? One of the least hospitable environments for such?), and a general tedium. The whole thing is clearly aimed strictly at its believers, or maybe those involved were so close to the material that they couldn't see the problems. Sorbo is properly credited as a lead, not just a day or two of filming, but most of the acting is passable, at best. Apologies for the lack of details, but I saw this a few months ago, and the finer points have mercifully faded from memory.

I could really identify with the female character 'Lorimar'. She is independent, intelligent and is able to handle a firearm. Honestly, I had to watch this movie about three times in order to really 'get it'. he script is complex and covers a lot of material but at about the third viewing you can readily see the merit of this film. I think that a lot of the negative reviews come from people that don't want to be lectured or taught free-market principles. Moreover, when you consider that this film was produced on a budget of less that $1,000,000 the production value is absolutely astounding!