8213: Gacy House

...Because everything else is a waste of time. Apparently this is a sequel to Paranormal Entity, which I also disliked, but you'd not really think so as it has little in common with that. Everything just looked very slipshod visually, the camera work lacked focus, the effects while not the worst for the Asylum are still poor and somewhat half-baked and sometimes the lighting is so dimly lit. The dialogue is trite and repetitive, adding little if anything to the atmosphere, while I didn't care at all for the characters, they were annoying and you don't learn enough about them. The story did not engage in any way, the first half of Gacy House is so low-key and dull that you don't feel any tension or horror and you even question whether there is a story. The acting is stiff and phoned in in most cases. In fact, the one bright spot of Gacy House is the last fifteen minutes, while highly implausible it does have one or two good scares. All in all, a terrible movie on all levels apart from the end. 2/10 Bethany Cox

I've seen better acting in pornography. Don't waste your time, i'd rather be scratching my butt...

This review requires ten lines. I do not have anything to say about this movie that is remotely close to ten lines. I will now recite the alphabet: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z now i'm going to go watch paint dry...

Apparently this review is still not long enough. It's bad. It's boring. It's worse than Nicholas Cage's dramatic knee drops in "the knowing" (i believe there were 12). I would rather watch Bob Ross paint a landscape. I rented this movie for 99c, I'm kicking myself for not buying a taco instead...do not make the same mistake i did!

This movie put out by Asylum...

I cannot find the review right now, but one other reviewer said their were some problems with all Asylum movies, that they repeat the same lines over and over, because they have nothing to say. This observation nails it. Listen for people saying the same things over and over, and I mean within seconds, not just as the movie progresses.

Then there is this technique of "people chatter about nonsense until the lead character takes over the scene". This too was overused.

None of the characters say anything personal, except during their 10 seconds introduction on the film.

They also copy about 12 different stunts from Paranormal Activity - I don't mind a few, but seriously... I could come up with something different for the entity to do if I spent about 15 minutes thinking about it... but I won't, I was supposed to be entertained, not be the entertainer.

Even for a micro-budget, they could have done better.

The only thing I liked was the genre they are pursuing.

What a waste of a perfectly chilling premise. 8213: Gacy House sells itself as "Paranormal Activity in America's most infamous crawlspace," but delivers ninety minutes of night-vision yawns, Walmart-grade jump scares and improv so wooden you can almost hear the termites chewing. For an hour you get six nobodies bickering over who moved the EMF meter while the camera wobbles like a toddler on espresso. Then the Big Scary Shadow turns up, reminds you of that screensaver from 1998, and the cast forgets how doors work. Credits roll, you're already scrolling your phone. Skip it. Stream the original Paranormal Activity (again) or google a true-crime podcast-either option is scarier, faster and won't kill your brain cells.

Is the "haunted house/Paranormal Activity/Blair Witch" thing a bit over done these days? Yeah. But me being interested in serial killers, this one kinda had me throughout.

First off, you got a guy that looks like McLovin in this, two fairly attractive blondes (one for the fans of busty girls and one for the more modest type) and the main actor looks like that guy from Kangaroo Jack. I loved the comparisons for everyone. It does do the kinda lame thing where nothing happens for a while and then the predicable shock happens, but what horror/thriller movie doesn't? On that note, I think this is more of a thriller than a true horror. If you have a scary ghost movie, of course there's going to be the creepy basement scenes-plenty to offer, and scenes where you say to the character "Dude...you really just went there alone? *Sigh* See you in the sequel." lol Okay, so the actors aren't the best, the camera work is a bit shoddy, but it's a fun movie to watch with a group of friends and a few beverages. Just have an open mind, expect nothing, lights off, and hit play.