8213: Gacy House

What a waste of a perfectly chilling premise. 8213: Gacy House sells itself as "Paranormal Activity in America's most infamous crawlspace," but delivers ninety minutes of night-vision yawns, Walmart-grade jump scares and improv so wooden you can almost hear the termites chewing. For an hour you get six nobodies bickering over who moved the EMF meter while the camera wobbles like a toddler on espresso. Then the Big Scary Shadow turns up, reminds you of that screensaver from 1998, and the cast forgets how doors work. Credits roll, you're already scrolling your phone. Skip it. Stream the original Paranormal Activity (again) or google a true-crime podcast-either option is scarier, faster and won't kill your brain cells.

All blockbusters have rip-offs. Paranormal Activity was an unexpected success and naturally people tried to clock in on that. The best rip-offs were the Paranormal Entity flicks.

But they just aren't that scary or creepy as the originals. The second entry here is also called "8213 Gacy House". And that is in fact what it is all about, go searching the ghost of serial killer John Wayne Gacy. I wont go into the story of Gacy because this is fantasy and not based on the real life of Gacy but one things is a fact. When they here the ghost saying Kiss My Ass it was in fact his last words before his execution.

Where PA moves slowly into a ghost story the PE flicks do take a while before things go wrong. Here too you have to stand a lot of talking and noises before the crew searching for the ghost comes in front of the ghost. I can even say that it is creepy in the last 15 minutes when the séance go wrong. The other difference with the PA flicks is the fact that in PE you always have a bit of nudity.

The fact that you are involved slowly into the paranormal activity flicks do work and do gives goosebumps here and there but this stupid story just doesn't work. It's nice to see an extreme close-up of a boob but that has in fact nothing to do with entities.

It is watchable even as none character is believable, for horror geeks I wont recommend it but for those who are afraid of Blair Witch and Paranormal Activity, stay away from it.

Gore 0/5 Nudity 0,5/5 Effects 2/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 0/5

8213: Gacy House is what the back of the movie case says it is; no hidden perks. You are told from the very start that the movie is made in narrative form, so if you aren't a fan of that sort of movies, then you will already dislike this one (in my opinion). I know a lot of the reviews here say how crappy this film is, and the ratings on IMDb show that, but I rated on a different factor. In my opinion, this movie was made really well, as in: even though it switches camera angles a million times (from hand-held to stationary), it looks very clean and smooth. I've seen many movies where the story line was superb but the camera was crap - for this film, it is completely opposite. Now having said that, it was still a decent movie, and if watched under the right mindset / conditions, you will likely find some sort of enjoyment out of it. Don't watch it expecting it to be the best film you've ever seen, but likewise, don't watch it already thinking you will hate it. Go in with an open mind and unbiased eyes, and just take it for what it is.

I've seen better acting in pornography. Don't waste your time, i'd rather be scratching my butt...

This review requires ten lines. I do not have anything to say about this movie that is remotely close to ten lines. I will now recite the alphabet: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z now i'm going to go watch paint dry...

Apparently this review is still not long enough. It's bad. It's boring. It's worse than Nicholas Cage's dramatic knee drops in "the knowing" (i believe there were 12). I would rather watch Bob Ross paint a landscape. I rented this movie for 99c, I'm kicking myself for not buying a taco instead...do not make the same mistake i did!

Is the "haunted house/Paranormal Activity/Blair Witch" thing a bit over done these days? Yeah. But me being interested in serial killers, this one kinda had me throughout.

First off, you got a guy that looks like McLovin in this, two fairly attractive blondes (one for the fans of busty girls and one for the more modest type) and the main actor looks like that guy from Kangaroo Jack. I loved the comparisons for everyone. It does do the kinda lame thing where nothing happens for a while and then the predicable shock happens, but what horror/thriller movie doesn't? On that note, I think this is more of a thriller than a true horror. If you have a scary ghost movie, of course there's going to be the creepy basement scenes-plenty to offer, and scenes where you say to the character "Dude...you really just went there alone? *Sigh* See you in the sequel." lol Okay, so the actors aren't the best, the camera work is a bit shoddy, but it's a fun movie to watch with a group of friends and a few beverages. Just have an open mind, expect nothing, lights off, and hit play.