Peter Dinklage credited as playing...
Tyrion Lannister
- Jon Snow: Why do you read so much?
- Tyrion Lannister: Look at me and tell me what you see.
- Jon Snow: Is this a trick?
- Tyrion Lannister: What you see is a dwarf. If I had been born a peasant, they might have left me out in the woods to die. Alas, I was born a Lannister of Casterly Rock. Things are expected of me. My father was the Hand of the King for twenty years.
- Jon Snow: Until your brother killed that king.
- Tyrion Lannister: Yes. Until my brother killed him. Life is full of these little ironies. My sister married the new king, and my repulsive nephew will be king after him. I must do my part for the honor of my house; wouldn't you agree? But how? Well, my brother has his sword, and I have my mind. And a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone. That's why I read so much, Jon Snow.
- Tyrion Lannister: Before you go, you will call on Lord and Lady Stark and offer your sympathies.
- Joffrey Baratheon: What good will my sympathies do then?
- Tyrion Lannister: None. But it is expected of you. Your absence has already been noted.
- Joffrey Baratheon: The boy means nothing to me. And I can't stand the wailing of women.
- [Tyrion slaps Joffrey]
- Tyrion Lannister: One word and I hit you again.
- Joffrey Baratheon: I'm telling mother!
- [Tyrion slaps Joffrey again]
- Tyrion Lannister: Go! Tell her. But first you will get to Lord and Lady Stark, and you will fall on your knees and tell them how very sorry you are, that you are at their service and that all your prayers are with them. *Do you understand?*
- Joffrey Baratheon: You can't!
- [Tyrion slaps Joffrey again]
- Tyrion Lannister: Do you understand?
- [Joffery leaves angrily]
- Sandor Clegane: The prince will remember that, little lord.
- Tyrion Lannister: I hope so. If he forgets, be a good dog and remind him.
- Jaime Lannister: But even if the boy lives he would be a cripple, a grotesque. Give me a good, clean death anyday.
- Tyrion Lannister: Speaking for the grotesques, I have to disagree. Death is so final, yet life is full of possibilities. I hope the boy does wake. I'd be very interested to hear what he has to say.
- Jaime Lannister: My dear brother, there are times you make me wonder whose side you're on.
- Tyrion Lannister: *My* dear brother, you wound me. You know how much I love my family.
- Tyrion Lannister: The charms of the North seem entirely lost on you.
- Cersei Lannister: I still can't believe you're going. It's ridiculous, even for you.
- Tyrion Lannister: Where's your sense of wonder? The greatest structure ever built, the intrepid men of the Night's Watch, the wintry abode of the White Walkers.
- Jaime Lannister: Tell me you're not thinking of taking the black.
- Tyrion Lannister: And go celibate? The whores would go begging from Dorne to Casterly Rock. No, I just want to stand on top of the Wall and piss off the edge of the world.