Kevin Dillon credited as playing...
Johnny Drama
- Ari Gold: I gave you 100 million dollars. You agreed to not go over!
- Vincent Chase: Because you said I couldn't direct unless we agreed.
- Johnny Chase: It's like when a girl asks if you want to bang her hot sister. Of course you say 'no' but neither of you really believes you mean it, though.
- Ari Gold: What is he doing here?
- Johnny Chase: You might want to put me in Iron Man 3.
- Jon Favreau: We did 3. 4 would be next.
- Johnny Chase: Iron Man 4! Downey's great don't get me wrong, I love Downey; he's just a little long in the tooth. I think you wanna go younger, man.
- Jon Favreau: If I recall, you're 5 years older than him.
- Johnny Chase: Seriously bro, fuck Ari.
- E: Yeah, fuck him.
- Turtle: Fuck Ari.
- Vincent Chase: Thanks guys.
- [E receives a text]
- E: It's Ari.
- Johnny Chase: ...Think he heard us?
- Piers Morgan: So, you came to Hollywood first?
- Johnny Chase: I was the trailblazer.
- Piers Morgan: And then Vince followed.
- Johnny Chase: With Turtle - they lived in my house, rent free for the first year.
- Piers Morgan: But as I understand it, you now live in Vince's house?
- Johnny Chase: I'm 40 years old and can quite possibly get an Oscar nom this year. Why the f### would I live at my baby brother's house?... I'm just staying there 'til my roof gets re-shingled.
- Ronda Rousey: You couldn't last 30 seconds with me if your life depended on it. I could really hurt you, Turtle.
- Turtle: So I last 30 seconds, you let me take you out on a proper date.
- Ronda Rousey: Last 60 seconds and I'll let you fuck me.
- [bell rings]
- Turtle: How much time?
- Johnny Chase: 3 seconds!
- [Ronda kicks Turtle to the ground]
- Turtle: Jesus Christ, this guy snuck into another relationship.
- Eric Murphy: It's not a relationship. I'm just having fun.
- Johnny Chase: Fun is when you forget a girl's name while you're fucking her.
- Shauna: You are in four scenes, and you expect me to get you a magazine cover?
- Johnny Chase: Scarlet Jo wasn't even on screen in Her, and she got a cover.
- Shauna: If you had her tits, I could get you a cover.
- Johnny Chase: Look, all I'm saying is, you don't have to fall in love with every girl you fuck.
- Eric Murphy: You know, what I'm saying is that, unlike you, I like to have more of a connection than whether or not I have exact change.
- Johnny Chase: Please, I haven't paid for pussy in years... At least a year!