Metal Tornado

So many bad reviews from so many Canadians and Canadian (?) pseudo-scientists. Boo to the bunch. This modest movie followed the formula flicks of the 50s without missing a beat. It didn't have a gigantic budget. Agreed. And the plot didn't ask for gross over-acting (or any kind of profound acting). Agreed. The science is shaky. Agreed. So what are we doing with things like "The Exorcist" when a little girl can turn her head completely around or "Jaws" when sharks become as intelligent as human beings? So much for the verisimilitudes. I suppose it was a bad idea to base the film in Canada. Perhaps it should have been shot in the U.S. Perhaps "King Kong" should have been shot in the tropics or the remake of "The Thing" in Antarctica. So much for the carping about location. The film entertains quite well, the acting is quite satisfactory and the cutting and music quite fine. No, the film doesn't boast Clark Gable or Elizabeth Taylor. Neither does "Psycho" or the original "Dracula". Nor does it have a colossal budget. I enjoyed this film and thought it was well prepared and interesting.

Curtis Stotlar

...if you imagine it as a porno. It is seriously so cheesy, you expect someone to just take their clothes off any second. It's one of those movies where you think you've seen that actor in another movie, but naw, surely someone in this movie wouldn't have ever had another role, but NO!! These actors were literally in other movies/shows! Its so bad, you expect this to be a YouTube film! Literally save yourself the money and find something on youtube to watch, you'll be much happier. All in all though, if you like B-movies.... stay away. This classifies as Z-list, right up there with "A Grave Mistake." However if you are into Z-listers, be my guest... I sat through it all because it deserves a fair chance and I like cheesy movies, but don't expect anything more. Seriously, it would've done better as a porno.

Despite it airing on the notorious SyFy channel, I saw it anyway hoping for a film to ease my mind after a very on-edge weekend. I have seen some awful movies, whether on SyFy or not, and while SyFy have done much worse, Metal Tornado was awful. I will give some credit, the acting is not too bad, there has been far worse acting than this. The problem was that the actors didn't have anything to work from, as the characters are so dull I didn't give a tuppence about them and the dialogue has no natural flow to it at all. The effects, photography and editing are haphazard and the music has melodrama written all over it, but it's the story that sinks Metal Tornado, not only does it drag to the point of boredom and doesn't make any sense whatsoever, I failed to see the point to it. The concept didn't grab me, and at the end of the day I just didn't care. All in all, I was kind of expecting it to be bad, but not this awful. At least the actors tried, however that is the only good thing I can say about the movie. 2/10 Bethany Cox

First of all, it's a stinker. Secondly, it's a Canadian stinker. Fans of science-fiction pretty well agree that nobody has ever made a good sci- fi movie and there is nothing in this movie to challenge that axiom. But this has the added handicap of being a bad Canadian sci-fi movie. The story line is silly and predictable. The acting is wooden and clichéd. But even being awful could be forgiven if they had not used the Ottawa Valley to masquerade as Pennsylvania. Have these people no shame? They drape American flags over obviously eastern Ontario architecture and then run credits at the end about all the government support. This must be as big a source of puzzlement to foreign audiences as it is of embarrassment to Canadian ones.I suppose the problem is that our brilliant movie people (directors and actors both) go to Hollywood, leaving only the hacks and greenhorns to slurp at the public trough while grinding out artless and unoriginal bumpfh like this and posing as artists. This movie made me bored. It made me embarrassed. And it made me mad!

I'm rolling on the floor still laughing my guts out. Thanks for the HUGE laugh. Bad acting, bad computer generated graphics, bad story plot. I bet any money that director is out of work. LMAO.

Update: I tried to save the above to the point review, but this site said my review wasn't long enough, which only added to my wet spot in my pants from laughing so much from the movie. Just what more can I say about the worst movie I ever saw. Poor Richie must be hard up for cash these days. Anyhow, I'm going to try and save this review again with this new paragraph in hopes it will make it to the review section.

Another Update: Oh My Freekin God. I have to have 10 lines in order for this review to be valid? I'm on muscle relaxants now to calm my pulled gut muscles from laughing so much.