Metal Tornado

Well, just given the title of this movie you already know what you are in for. And true enough, this movie delivered exactly what was expected.

The storyline alone was so implausible, and it was really hard to buy into what was happening. Throughout the movie I was curling my toes every time I saw that electromagnetic tornado. It was just such a bad concept.

As for the cast in "Metal Tornado", well the only face I recognized was Lou Diamond Phillips. Now I am not one to judge his selection in roles in movies, but "Metal Tornado", for real? The people in the movie were doing good jobs with their roles, it was just the story that was halting and dragging everything down.

There are lots of disaster movies out there, and there seem to be no real middle ground. The disaster movies are either super awesome with amazing effects, or they are quite the opposite; disasters in themselves. "Metal Tornado" must be said to be in the latter of the two categories. There are far better disaster movies available out there, and "Metal Tornado" is good for only less than mediocre entertainment if you are really, really into disaster movies and have nothing better to do.

Honestly, then I have seen worse disaster movies than "Metal Tornado", but still, it was hardly worth sitting through from start till end.

"Metal Tornado" (2011) is another Syfy creature feature, although this time the "monster" is -- you guessed it -- a metal tornado, a magnetic vortex that attracts an increasing amount of metal objects (cars, toasters, etc.) and moves about according to an iron vein under the earth.

Aside from the protagonist Lou Diamond Phillips and Kate Drummond, the latter as a barely seen biker babe, the cast is blasé (although the youth who plays Diamond's son is good). Nicole de Boer is also on hand.

As noted in my title blurb, "Metal Tornado" is surprisingly well done for a made-for-TV creature feature; unfortunately it's unmemorable. There's nothing about it that makes it standout from the scores of similar TV movies. Although it tries to work up suspense, it lacks drive, and it's definitely NOT horrifying. Ultimately, it just comes across as hackneyed and forgettable.

"Metal Tornado" is only worth viewing if you have a preference for one or more of the cast members and you have an unquenchable hunger for these types of trite movies.

The story takes place in Pennsylvania, with many shots of Philadelphia (and some of Paris), but the film was shot in Ottawa.

The runtime is 90 minutes.

GRADE: C-

I'm rolling on the floor still laughing my guts out. Thanks for the HUGE laugh. Bad acting, bad computer generated graphics, bad story plot. I bet any money that director is out of work. LMAO.

Update: I tried to save the above to the point review, but this site said my review wasn't long enough, which only added to my wet spot in my pants from laughing so much from the movie. Just what more can I say about the worst movie I ever saw. Poor Richie must be hard up for cash these days. Anyhow, I'm going to try and save this review again with this new paragraph in hopes it will make it to the review section.

Another Update: Oh My Freekin God. I have to have 10 lines in order for this review to be valid? I'm on muscle relaxants now to calm my pulled gut muscles from laughing so much.

with you people? You decide to watch a movie called Metal Tornado and expect a great masterpiece? On the SyFy Channel? This move delivers exactly what it is supposed to deliver. Entertainment. Granted, there are better movies of this same type out there, with a little more excitement, but this one isn't all that bad. That would be the only fault I could find is that it drags in some spots. I did not expect to watch a movie that had a great grasp of physics when I saw the title.

I got just what I expected from a SyFy channel movie. I recommend it if you are having a 'bad movie night' and keep in mind where the film comes from.

An experiment with unlimited energy form solar flares goes awry. At least that is the premise. In reality, it is a standard disaster movie. The head of the firm was warned ahead of time that the technology had a flaw. Naturally, it was ignored. After the fact, Michael Edwards (Lou Diamond Phillips) suspects there is a problem; so do we.

The formula is standard. We already know the individual characters needed form watching other standard disaster movies and the plethora or tornado knockoffs. Now we get to guess which actor gets to play which character.

We have flying cars before their time.

Finally, they throw in some drones. But I miss big bugs and flame throwers.