Zombie Driftwood

I am a huge zombie film fan and I have to say this one is unwatchable. It is not funny, scary, clever or even so bad it's good. This is just low rent garbage with nothing to offer at all.

If you want a funny zombie film go watch: Shaun of the Dead, Army of darkness , Evil Dead 1&2, Dellamorte Dellamore, Zombieland ,Dead Snow, Black Sheep, Slither, Fido, Doghouse or Braindead/Dead Alive.

If camp is not your thing and you want a scary or interesting film go watch: Dawn Of The Dead 2004 UNRATED, Dawn of the dead (1978),28 Weeks Later, The Dead Outside, Shock Waves, Outpost, Mulberry Street, Lifeforce, Deathwatch, Dead and Buried and of course Night of the Living Dead.

Totally cringeworthy dross. So embarrassing to watch. Had to skim through it just to see it it had ANY quality at all. If they are genuinely Metalheads then they should be ashamed. They set us back years with this deadful representation of who Metalheads are! So much cringe I almost turned inside out. Awful. Everything about it. The cheap dime store effects. The none existant acting. Ha ha. Soooo bad. It's not even so bad it's good. It's Cancer for the eyes. Avoid.

Worthless crap.

I usually don't comment on anything as poor as this, but the sock-puppets who reviewed this film fooled me into watching it. If I can save even a single person this embarrassment, I must try. Brain cells are at stake.

This film might have been more impressive had it been directed by an 8 year old- though I'd still make sure someone kept him away from cameras in the future. I'd also recommend he be given a thorough examination by a child developmental specialist.

The film claims to be funny- the only 'humor' comes from post production fart sounds littered throughout and, I suppose, the dancing of the female 'actors'.

The zombie make-up appears to be made from red paint and a wasted chicken dinner.

The actors are unlikable, untalented and unwatchable. The two 'sex' scenes have the participants fully clothed and are about as hot as an episode of 'The Golden Girls'.

The hour and 12 min running time is padded out with cheap animation which is the best part of the production.

Epicly terrible. 74th movie I have watched in 2013 and this is THE WORST. No joke. Sometimes people think movies that open at the theater on an average American weekend are the worst. No, they're really not. Sometimes they may stink but they're not EPICLY HORRIBLE like this. But I will give some points to anyone who can get a bunch of people together to follow a script, film it, edit it and have people see it. No matter how bad the movie, that's an accomplishment. However, if it was me, I would not want people to know I was involved in any way. I'm almost embarrassed to mention I watched it. So bad it's not even funny. If I had my way I'd snap my fingers and this "film" would vanish from existence so no one would ever see it.

0.7 / 10

--Zoooma, a Kat Pirate Screener

If zombies exist then they should be like this! A tongue in cheek romp on an exotic island that throws in fistfuls of jokes for those who like their humour to rattle! When zombies turn up at Driftwood beach bar on paradise island, it is every man and woman for him/herself especially once they have acquired a taste for alcohol. With handcuffed lovers, sexy dolls, a throbbing 'October File' soundtrack and a Scottish bagpipe thrown in for good measure, chaos soon engulfs the peaceful idyll. A bizarre bunch of alcohol-sodden beach bar regulars and visiting star crossed lovers are thrown a into life or death battle with the craziest group of zombies that ever graced a screen. They shop till they get chopped and eventually even insist that although they may have no brains they have, well, zombie rights.

If you like your humour poured on and your zombies merciless you can't go wrong. Go and enjoy . .