Old 37

I did not like this movie. It was dull and poorly acted. The characters were shallow and made terrible, stupid decisions that no one would make. Even the character transformation in the finale doesn't make any sense and just comes off as a plot device. The writers had a good idea about having killer paramedics, but this is not the movie that exploited that idea.

Pass on this one.

It might be scarier if anyone knew what an Old 37 was.

Think of the most convoluted, confusing and frankly, boring plot of the worst of the Saw series and you'll have yourself your own Old 37 including all the same Saw-gore and bad acting you can tolerate. Mercifully, it's not the same plot, but all of the outer edges are the same despite having such a dull blade to begin with.

I guess the main plot is SUPPOSED to be about two evil Tucker & Dales who use an ambulance to prey on innocent victim victims...of car crashes, but is turned into some not-so-teen drama straight outta I Know What You Did Last Summer. Actually, make that: it's more like the parody of that movie from within Scary Movie.

In truth, there are about 28 flashbacks making up a good half of the runtime from both the killers driving the Old 37 (the ambulance's name, I believe, who knows?) and "teen's" POV and those made my mind wander so much, I have no real idea what this mess is about.

But, hey, when is it NOT great to have horror screen legends: Bill Moseley and Kane Hodder in front of the camera and very nice gore graphics? Also, no-spoilers, but I LOVED the very end. To be honest, it didn't fit the scene before, but it still was a pretty good final shot. (And the scene before, I totally got the reference, Mr. Hodder. I sure did.)

But, no amount of a Masked Hodder, a Bored Bill, gore and a great finale will save this all-over-the-place horror film. I didn't even get to the weird mother/daughter relationship.

At least, I think they were mother and daughter. They really looked like a handful of years apart in age. I'm so confused.

***

Final thoughts: Maybe this is just past my generation. I am an Old 46-year-old, myself.

I figure a film with Kane Hodder and Bill Mosely as killer paramedics should be better. Its still watchable though. A quarter of the film plays like a Lifetime teen drama.

I'm not hard to please. I enjoy dumb horror. This,,, just terrible. Hodder and Mosley obviously just needed the paychecks.

DO. NOT. WATCH!!!

Ambulence 37, death call or old 37 was not an awful film i will say. At the beginning we are thrust into these brothers world and the grusomness they can get up to. But then I feel like we have about half hour of getting away from the plot. Theres a house party at a woman called brooks house, a woman called angel taking a joy ride with others that results in danger and our main final girl Amy, who wants breast implants because of her kickboxing dancing which really gets away from this whole thing and its not really a long film. Anyway we do get into the real stuff and its decent for what it was. Acting was a little rough at times and i do feel morsely and hoder deserved better but for what it was an enjoyable horror.