David McCallum credited as playing...
Donald Mallard
- Jimmy Palmer: I'm just test driving for my big date. I'm also trying on disposable contact lens.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Change is good Mr. Palmer, as long as you are the motivation for the change.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [Gibbs enters] Ugh. Smells like a French whorehouse in here!
- Jimmy Palmer: Uh, that's me.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: What are you trying to do, Palmer? Raise the dead?
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Would you take these up to Ms Sciuto right away? And, uh, then use the hazmat shower.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Yeah, use it twice.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Put that insidious device away, Mr. Palmer. This is a crime scene not a chat room.
- Jimmy Palmer: Sorry, Doctor. It's just... it's just that she texted me "yes."
- Dr. Donald Mallard: *What*?
- [They both laugh delightedly, and Ducky claps Palmer on the shoulder]
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Oh, splendid! Splendid!
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Love is but a sweet embrace / A whispered phrase / A graceful face.
- Jimmy Palmer: Is that Tennyson?
- Dr. Donald Mallard: No, no: Mallard. There was a poetry competition in school when I was 15. I took second place.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: His entire gastronomic tract is inflamed. Yes, this is the handiwork of leishmaniasis. In this case, visceral leishmaniasis. It's a parasite you get from infected sandflies, found mostly in Third World countries.