The Hills Have Thighs

Hey, I am no one to judge. For me, the best part of this film is the title. Unfortunately, in about 20 years (or less), the women cast in this will (undoubtedly) have serious medical problems. I am not being funny. I have dated 2 young women, both of whom had to have surgery for reductions. If they had not, they would have developed terrible headaches, curvature of the spine, and (worst of all), men never look them in their eyes; only from the neck down. As far as watching this for entertainment, count me out. If I was a teenager, it might be different. However, (as I mentioned at the start) if you like it, watch it.

"The Hills Have Eyes" gets the Skinimax treatment in this softie spoof.

Bountifully blessed babes are preying on the men crazy enough to set foot near their desolate hillside home where 50 years ago nuclear testing left the are desolate. Some friends go after another friend who was kidnapped and forced to pleasure these insatiable wild women mutants and fall under the spell of "The Hills Have Thighs". Random boffing and crap-tacular music happen at regular intervals. Most are guaranteed to make you laugh or wince. If plasticized beauties and horrid acting are your thing than this one may be for you. But if you are allergic to gratuitous spoofing and monster life preservers than avoid like the plague.

Okay, I'll admit that the neither fish nor fowl genre of soft-core generally does little for me- it has neither the erotic build up of a good R-rated film nor the carnal reality of an X feature. At least some of them are funny.

While channel surfing the scenery caught my eye (not that scenery though). The Alabama Hills with snow covered Mount Whitney in the background were beautiful in HD. The production values were quite good- even some of the "normal" acting was OK.

The main point of this movie did nothing for me. I found myself fast-forwarding through the bouncing balloon scenes. I even watched to the end to check out the credits and was impressed with the huge list of crew involved. Quality production values, obviously a reasonable budget, even a workable plot- (probably better basic plot than "Tremors" filmed in the same area). It was so poorly executed that even this guy who likes to see top-heavy women gets nothing out of it.

PS- I've climbed some of those rocks. They're very rough on the skin; I feel sorry for the poor actresses!

I've always been fond of Julie K. Smith, but it's the visuals of being shot in the Californian desert that elevate this standard T&A pic 'The Hills Have Thighs' from director Jim Wynorski. Kylee Nash's huge boobs were a treat too I won't lie, but that doesn't change the fact that this is a strictly by the numbers experience.

When their friend goes missing and the authorities can't find him, two couples Ben (Frankie Cullen) / Mary (Smith) and Mike (Mark Weiler) / Sandy (Brandin Rackley) go searching for him themselves. It means hotel sex, desert sex, dream sequence sex, flashback sex, sex with the women (Nash, Rebecca Love, Dana Bentley) who have him kept sex hostage.

There's one obvious bit of cheapness on display - they reuse Glori-Anne Gilbert's sex scene with Cullen from 'Witches of Breastwick' - but the unique location allows this to be a slight step up from the usual low energy formula and the cast look to be having fun. It's still your tame mix of boobs & fake sex at a brisk 70 minutes so I can't rate it higher. Don't read too much into the spoof parody title neither.

The Hills Have Thighs is Jim Wynorski's latest late night Cinemax T&A flick and conforms pretty well to his past outings. A hiker becomes lost in the wilderness and comes across sexually insatiable mutant cave women who hold him captive for their carnal enjoyment. Two couples that are friends of his go off to try to find and save him, unaware of his true predicament.

No time is wasted getting right into the good bits, with two cave women immediately ravishing the unsuspecting hiker. If they could bottle whatever mutated the cave women to look like this, it would put every plastic surgeon in Los Angeles out of business. I have not seen breasts as impressively pumped up as Kylee Nash's since the days of Shae Marks and Pandora Peaks in Andy Sidaris's old spy softcore erotica.

All of Julie K. Smith's scenes are amazing as usual. Kylee Nash's scene by the bonfire is easily my favorite in the film and I hope to see her in more in the future. Disappointments were Glori-Anne Gilbert's scene being recycled old footage from a past film (the dreaded flashback scene) and Dianna Terranova, while attractive, not actually getting naked and involved in any of the scenes other than just dancing around. Overall, though, the film is definitely a success for the genre, and is my favorite of Wynorski's parody themed late night romps since The Breastford Wives.