Linda Hunt credited as playing...
Hetty Lange
- Special Agent G. Callen: [after Eric blows a whistle] You gave him a whistle?
- Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: Oh, do I look like I've gone daft? I'd sooner give a chainsaw to a spider monkey. At least I took his Segway away. I'll speak to Mr. Beal.
- Special Agent Sam Hanna: Sooner than later, okay? 'Cause the next time he toots that thing, he won't be using his lips.
- Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: Wushu is the Chinese Martial Art with 18 arms or weapons. I prefer the steel whip or the Meteor Hammer. But you have to stay in practice with all of the.
- Special Agent G. Callen: No doubt. You never know when a horde of murderous monguls are going to come galloping over Laurel Canyon.
- Special Agent Sam Hanna: You know I don't like people sneaking up on me, Hetty.
- Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: I tread lightly. I don't sneak.
- Special Agent Sam Hanna: The problem isn't Mo, Dom or James. It's the other 10 mill. You know what the leading cause of death for young black men in this country?
- Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: Homicide.
- Special Agent Sam Hanna: That's right. Usually at the hands of another young man with a gun.
- Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: You can't take it upon yourself to save *all* of them.
- Special Agent Sam Hanna: No. But at least I can save this one.
- Special Agent G. Callen: Do you want to be briefed on this?
- Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: I don't know. Do I?
- Special Agent G. Callen: I could run it by Director Vance if you prefer.
- Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: Oh Lord no! One of the reasons I'm here is to protect him as a designated fall guy. "I had no previous knowledge of the Operation, Mr. Secretary. That madwoman went off her rocker and acted autonomously.
- Special Agent G. Callen: You're the first line of defense?
- Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: Yeah. You gotta get by me first.
- Henrietta 'Hetty' Lange: [Holding a bag of heroine from Afghanistan] We send our young men to slay the terrorist dragon. And what do we get back, but dragon we were sent to slay. It's hard to believe but it was a beautiful country once.