Sharktopus

Story, which is stupid and so un-original, you can read in other reviews and in plot-section. It is however very stupid and not worth of mention. Actually, think about word "Sharktopus" just for second. Yes, it is some secret government project which went wrong. That's all you need to know about story.

Acting? Visual/audio effects? Comedy? Fear? All together, very low. But that is thing you know as well.

The reason why I review this title is simple. I'm big fan of low-budget-so-bad-its-good movies. This is bad, cheap, but simply, not bad enough. Seems weird? Well, acting is not that bad, there are no very obvious movie goofs, there is some cliché in story but not much, anyway, it is bad, very bad movie, but trust me, for making-fun-of with your friends, better buy some cheap Asylum movie.

A half-shark, half-octopus creature created for the military, creates a whole lot of terror in Mexico while a scientist (Eric Roberts) who helped created it tries to capture/kill it.

I had just about as high of expectations and anticipation as one could possibly muster for this film. I received word roughly two months in advance that I would be receiving the Blu-ray and I checked my mailbox day in and day out, eagerly awaiting its arrival. I knew it was going to be bad, but I wanted to savor its badness. And the more I waited, the more I wanted it... and what I got was far worse than anything I could have ever imagined.

There are some things I could say nice about he film. Eric Roberts is decent, there is an "epic beard man" whose facial hair puts mien to shame. The film is not scary, but it made three cats on my girlfriend's couch jump, so that has to count for something... but that is about all.

There are bad special effects, of course -- and it almost seems like they are embracing it. The smart move is to show a creature as little as possible in a horror film, especially when the makeup or effects are not great. Here the effects are among the worst I have ever seen on SyFy, and they still felt the need to show the sharktopus early and often.

There is also terrible acting, with actors who can only deliver lines in a choppy monotone. I think some of them do not speak English and are reading their lines phonetically. But it is hard to tell, and maybe this was just the best cast they could get. One character, Bones the camera man, is covered in fake tattoos. They could not find one bad actor with real tattoos?

Should I classify this as one of those films that is "so bad it's good"? I do not think so. Maybe if you are really drunk, kicking back some bottles of Pabst Blue Ribbon with some buddies, making fun of it... it might be tolerable. But under no condition could this ever be seen as "good".

Thanks are given in the credits to Gabriel Cowan, the director of "Breathing Room" and "Growth"... why? Aside from Roger Corman and Eric Roberts, Cowan is the only remotely famous or successful person associated with this project -- but what did he do to get thanked?

If there is anything redeeming about this film at all, it is that the disc comes with an audio commentary from producer Roger Corman. Corman is, obviously, a legend in the horror and science fiction genres. So to hear him talk over the movie is a nice treat. But, if you think he can make a bad film good or justify its creation, you would be wrong. Not a film to see under any circumstances... I would rather see "Raptor Island" again.

I have seen better acting in a high school play rehearsal. Cheesy actors (no-names with nothing to their credit, for the most part), cheesy "special effects," (if you can even call them that), cheesy story (some sort of history of the creature that is only vaguely explained), horrible attempts at humor (especially when people get attacked by the creature), cheesy creature (half octopus and half shark -- really?), and cheesy creature "action." You can actually tell without any stretch of the imagination that it's similar to claymation in front of a green screen -- and not very good animation, either. I mean, really? Was this a 6th grade video project? Eric Roberts must be just one step above destitute to have signed to to this horrible production. We should all send him $5 so he doesn't have to do another one like that. Horrible. Just horrible.

Nathan Sands (Eric Roberts) and his daughter Nicole (Sara Malakul Lane) are scientists who created a shark/octopus hybrid. It manages to escape their control. They follow it to Mexico where they hire local guide Andy Flynn (Kerem Bürsin).

This is dumb, but that's to be expected. The CGI is bad, but it could be worst. The sharktopus design has problems, but I get the concept. The acting is bad, but they do have Eric Roberts. This is bad camp, but it is not worst of the worst. It does have girls in bikinis, but I wouldn't call it sexploitation. Its greatest sin is that it's boring. I wouldn't recommend it.

I used to think Cabin Boy was the worst movie ever made, but I was wrong. There are no words to describe the terrible acting, the lame effects, the lack of flow, etc.

When the tongue-in-cheek jokes are predictable, you know it sucks. I attempted to watch it twice, but did not make it past two commercial breaks.

I am sure even Charlie Sheen makes fun of Eric Roberts for this movie. I just hope the other "actors" careers recover from this.

If you are looking to waste two hours of your life, there are better ways than watching this garbage.