Animals United

A film so bad it has forced me to spend time creating an IMDb account to warn others about it.

Animals United should not require a lengthy review or synopsis to achieve this aim. Despite being a feature clearly made for under 12s, the film has a brutal environmental and political agenda of breathtaking ambition. This is presented with so little nuance or charm that, despite all the perfectly good arguments for ecological action, you somehow despise the animals who star.

The plot is paper thin, chaotic and occasionally plain nonsense. For instance, the plot insists environmental conferences achieve nothing but a conference of animals which tails off into a juvenile eulogy for a fantasy world somehow inspires the action required. Not even my three year old niece fell for that level of reasoning.

Worst of all, I watched the entire film and, despite sharing the immediate area of the cinema with around twelve children of various ages, can honestly say they did not even smile once, let alone laugh. It is devoid of any entertainment value. I think you get the point.

I wonder how the makers of this film can live with the amount of energy being wasted to give it distribution...

Apart from everything everyone else has said, its pretty stupid that the Tasmanian Devil is more recognizable as the old Warner Brothers "Tas" than an actual Tasmanian Devil ( that don't really live close to Ayers Rock either ).

The real ones actually look pretty cute ( but they sound like devils ).

My 15 year old daughter left the room, even though she still likes other kids movies such as Frozen. My 9 year old is tending to criticize it all the way through.

Don't be fooled by the names in the cast, its really disappointing that such talent would put their name to a movie such as this. Avoid Do not pay money for the DVD. Its really lame

This was truly the worst film I have ever paid money to watch. It was so terrible that my 9 year old sister and I left halfway through(she asked to leave!) This is a German-produced film with British voices edited in, and therefore the animation was off for the speaking. We went because of the amount of well-known stars in it, and yet all of them sounded dreadfully bored, with only James Corden trying, but trying way too hard. There was no plot at all and too many story lines to follow, each one receiving about 5 minutes before moving somewhere else and then suddenly all the characters are together with a minutes explanation of how. It was just so boring, so unless it is amazing for the last 20 minutes steer well clear of this film! There is a small scene showing fire, although you could clearly see the animation straight lines supporting the fire, it seemed more like a first draft. My only thought was that this must be politically based as there wasn't a single joke worthy of a laugh while we were there, but it was definitely not worth the £10 I paid to watch it, extremely disappointed as I was really excited before it.

HOLEY UNDERWEAR! If you thought Captain Planet was preachy, just sit down in front of this crap-fest for a full dose.

From moment one, it's an attempt to blame HUMANS for climate, suggesting that polar bears don't know how to swim, that politicians go to the arctic for photo opportunities, that somehow, riding a motorbike automatically makes you a slothenly character who, even when there are plainly marked trash bins, would rather throw trash everywhere.

I'd like to sit down with the director and say, HEY MORON! WE AREN'T ALL LIKE THAT! Come down off your high horse and clean up YOUR OWN feces first.

First of all, children up to 11 years, especially girls, will love this movie.

It is very child-oriented, which means it is a bit infantile, especially in delivering its message. The message is, and here comes Al Gore in, who will love this movie also, that we humans are bad bad bad when it goes to matters of nature, animals, earth.

Parents will probably get bored sometimes, because the message is delivered with some long lasting sermons, which we hear all over the time, but in this case from the oldest and wisest animals on earth. And children learn that what their parents do for their living, is mostly bad and causes nature to suffer. But to be honest, that's true. Nature is raped by man, and we don't care. After there seems no other way in Germany to raise the funds for a Pixar-like animated movie, we have to live with it. Not too bad for us to be confronted with a bitter truth once more, although it's not brought to us very subtle.

Animation is good and doesn't stay behind current productions. 3d effects are also impressive and obviously not post-production.

The characters are nice and funny and believable, mostly cliché of course, the plot is executed adventurous enough to keep everybody in line, even if we know, how the movie will end.

What the movie lacks is independence, its a mixture of everything from Madagascar through Ice Age and Horton, a perfect example of target group oriented product placement. 'No experiments' was the prime directive during production, it's obviously. Personally, I thought they took that too serious.

But nevertheless we go into a theater to watch a movie that makes our kids happy. If this is what our children makes happy, so what shells ? I don't open my wallet (so wide) to have a censorious conversation afterward, but to ask 'How did you like it ?' and get the answer 'I loved it so much'. And I got it.