Nick Kroll credited as playing...
Uncle Fester
- Morticia Addams: If I'd known you were coming I could've made up the dungeon.
- Uncle Fester: Don't worry about me, I can just sleep in the attic and you'll never even know I'm here.
- [laughs slyly]
- Uncle Fester: I've practiced that move in a lot of houses.
- Wednesday Addams: Uncle Fester can come and go as he pleases.
- Uncle Fester: Well not exactly, there *are* restrictions. I'm not allowed to go into a mall, the zoo, a building...
- Morticia Addams: Wednesday, when you're all grown up you can travel all you want, but for now it's safer here.
- Wednesday Addams: [sighs] Come, Socrates.
- [leaves the table]
- Uncle Fester: [still talking] South America, China, Europe, Asia... I AM allowed in Antarctica.
- Wednesday Addams: I think that woman is deranged. Her face reminds me of a death mask.
- Uncle Fester: Deranged? Death mask? If you say she has halitosis, it's a love match!
- Uncle Fester: [after having watched a sickening song and dance routine in a public park] Excuse me, I just tooted.
- Gomez Addams: Blow F6, Pugsley. Fire in the hole!
- Pugsley Addams: Yes!
- Uncle Fester: [inside a bathtub] You sunk my battleship.
- Gomez Addams: Well done, Pugsley!
- Uncle Fester: [to Margaux] Let me put it this way: you've got a lot of homes you need to get rid of, and I've got a lot of family I want to get rid of.
- Uncle Fester: [to Margaux] Who'd ever think a man like me, a total zero, would wind up with you, also a zero?