Danny McBride credited as playing...
- Nick: Now, give me the fucking code.
- Dwayne: Alright. 69-69-69.
- Nick: [pauses] You gotta be fucking kidding me.
- Dwayne: What is the one thing this town is missing? I'll give you a hint. It's cash business and it's crawling with sexy bitches.
- Travis: Chinese food restaurant?
- Dwayne: No.
- Travis: Abortion clinic.
- [from trailer]
- Dwayne: I liked the bear, I don't even fucking know you.
- [from trailer]
- Dwayne: Sometimes fate pulls out its big ol' cock and slaps you right in face.
- Nick: I taught myself how to do this shit. Went online, looked all this up!
- Dwayne: Oh I hear ya. I taught myself how to eat pussy and cut my own hair!
- Dwayne: Fucking victory tacos!
- Dwayne: You're a cold son of a bitch, dad.
- The Major: That's what it takes, boy. In the Corps, pussies like you wore dresses to keep us entertained.
- Dwayne: That's really fuckin' disturbing.
- Dwayne: This is like the Marines. If you hesitate, if you fuck around, I will leave you behind.
- Dwayne: I've been thinking a lot about the 'polishing the scepter' deal. I know that's really not for polishing the scepter, you're just talking about sucking my dick. But I just want you to know that it's going to be mutual. You won't just have to polish my scepter, I will also lick your crown, which is a euphemism for eating your pussy. Ok, well give me a call when you get a chance. Goodbye.
- Dwayne: [watching Friday the 13th Part III] I'm not afraid of Jason. Look at me. I'm fucking Jason. In his fucking mask hole.
- Dwayne: Sometimes faith pulls out its big ol' cock and slaps you right in the face.
