Mila Kunis credited as playing...
- Jamie: Why don't they ever a make a movie about what happens after they kiss?
- Dylan: They do, it's called porn.
- Dylan: Why do women think the only way to get men to do what they want is to manipulate them?
- Jamie: History, personal experience, romantic comedies.
- Dylan: Breasts.
- Jamie: Really? I think they're so tiny.
- Dylan: They're still breasts.
- Jamie: Thank you!
- Jamie: I really have to stop buying into this bullshit Hollywood cliche of true love.
- [sees posters for "The Ugly Truth" on a wall]
- Jamie: Shut up, Katherine Heigl, you stupid, little liar!
- Jamie: Why do I get the feeling this is the first real commitment you've ever made?
- Dylan: It's not. T-Mobile. Two years. And fuck do I regret that one!
- Jamie: I have the perfect body for Photoshop. This
- [face]
- Jamie: gets more angular, these
- [legs]
- Jamie: get longer and this
- [nose]
- Jamie: gets way more Christian.
- Jamie: Oh... my butt.
- Dylan: What?
- Jamie: My butt!
- Dylan: Really?
- Jamie: No! My butt is cramping. Can you grab a pillow?
- Dylan: [puts a pillow in her low back] So... there is not butt?
- Jamie: NO.
- Jamie: Everybody, this is Dylan. He's from L.A.
- [Everybody boos him]
- Jamie: He's the reason I can afford all this beer!
- [Everybody cheers him]
- [from trailer]
- Tommy: The babies you two are gonna have. Those things are gonna get *really* big and then *really* small.
- Jamie: We're not together.
- Tommy: That was a highly inappropriate series of comments and I apologize.
- Lorna: I'm hungry... got any gin?
- Jamie: It's in the kitchen.
- Jamie: I'm pulling up my bible app.
- Dylan: You have a bible app?
- Jamie: Yes I am a good girl.
- Police officer: This is the LAPD. You are trespassing. Get down from the sign.
- Jamie: We gotta jump.
- [Jamie jumps down from the sign]
- Jamie: Dylan, jump!
- Dylan: I'm f-frozen!
- Police officer: Come on, get down! Sir, this is your last warning.
- Jamie: Use the ladder!
- Dylan: I have a fear of heights! Also, he-he-helicopters! They don't make sense to me!
- Jamie: What do you mean you have a fear of heights? Why would you come up here?
- Dylan: You called me a pu-pussy!
- Dylan: Hey, I was thinking of getting some lunch. Do you know a place?
- Jamie: Are you asking me out?
- Dylan: Well, I... I'm not asking you out. I'm asking you to show me a restaurant.
- Jamie: I mean I'm the only friend you have in New York. You don't want to complicate that!
- Dylan: I know! I'm not asking you out.
- Jamie: I mean, sure. We'd have fun, roll around. Get into some erotic humiliation fantasy...
- Dylan: Erotic fan...? Could you just lower...
- Jamie: ... which would blow up in our faces, end badly. And we'd never speak to each other again!
- Dylan: I'm not fucking asking you out! I swear to God!
- Jamie: Okay. You don't like me like that. You don't have to be so mean about it.
- Dylan: I'm sorry. I didn't... I...
- [Jamie starts laughing]
- Jamie: God, you're such a girl. Come on, it's my treat.
