Jim O'Heir credited as playing...
Jerry Gergich
- Jerry Gergich: When they're missing this long, they're usually dead.
- Tom Haverford: Well, if that's true, then you're gonna have to answer to the whole town. And God!
- Jerry Gergich: You were the one who let him out, Tom, okay? Now stop trying to blame me!
- April Ludgate: Jerry, can you please be quiet? I can't hear myself not talking to Andy.
- Andy Dwyer: Ron, will you please tell me why April is mad at me?
- April Ludgate: Ron, can you please tell Andy...
- Ron Swanson: All of you, be quiet! Andy, she's mad because you said "Awesome sauce!" instead of "I love you too." April, he loves you. Stop being a child. Tom, you're clearly at fault here - blaming Jerry won't save you. Jerry, we both know you were shotgunning funnel cakes instead of watching Lil Sebastian. So everyone apologize to everyone else!
- Tom Haverford: What did you do now, Jerry?
- Jerry Gergich: I didn't do this!
- Tom Haverford: [Chants] Jerry's fault! Jerry's fault! Jerry's fault!