Amy Poehler credited as playing...
Leslie Knope
- Ron Swanson: Is this everybody?
- Donna Meagle: Ann took a cab, Tom's in the trunk, Jerry's on the roof. Alright, where to first?
- Leslie Knope: Your mother's butt.
- [Everybody but Donna drunkenly laughs]
- Chris Traeger: Pre-broth is an amazing stage! It's when you're most alert!
- Donna Meagle: Good. *Some*one needs to be alert tonight. This Snake Juice is basically rat poison! Everybody's wasted!
- Leslie Knope: [weeping uncontrollably] You don't even know one thing, I didn't even say one thing and then she asked me the whole thing and I didn't even do it once!
- Tom Haverford: I'm like an elephant, okay? If I walk into a room, it's like, okay, he's in there.
- Ann Perkins: I'mma gonna tell you...
- [pointing to someone]
- Ann Perkins: That... that bitch over there... I'm gonna tell... I'm gonna tell... I don't even brag...
- Ben Wyatt: [confidently] Bababooey.
- Andy Dwyer: Turn this music down!
- [singing like the lead singer of a 90s grunge band]
- Andy Dwyer: Farts and poop and love and stuff... Macaroni salad...
- April Ludgate: [speaks incomprehensible Spanish gibberish]
- Jerry Gergich: [laughs like an idiot, then chokes]
- Ron Swanson: [dances while wearing April's pillbox hat crazily]