Amy Poehler credited as playing...
Leslie Knope
- Leslie Knope: A complete list of every slogan we've ever had:
- Leslie Knope: "Pawnee: The Paris of America"
- Leslie Knope: "The Akron of Southwest Indiana"
- Leslie Knope: "Welcome, German Soldiers". After the Nazis took France, our mayor kind of panicked.
- Leslie Knope: "Pawnee: The Factory Fire Capitol of America"
- Leslie Knope: "Welcome, Vietnamese Soldiers"
- Leslie Knope: "Pawnee: Engage with Zorp". For a brief time in the 70's our town was taken over by a cult.
- Leslie Knope: "Pawnee: Zorp is Dead - Long Live Zorp"
- Leslie Knope: "Pawnee: it's Safe to Be Here Now"
- Leslie Knope: "Pawnee: Birthplace of Julia Roberts". That was a lie - she sued so we had to change it.
- Leslie Knope: "Pawnee: Home of the World Famous Julia Roberts Lawsuit."
- Leslie Knope: "Welcome, Taliban Soldiers"
- Leslie Knope: And our current slogan: "Pawnee: First in Friendship, Fourth in Obesity"
- Leslie Knope: So you're the one who's been emailing me about Twilight. I thought you'd be younger, and a girl.
- Kelly Larson: Well, I'm not. I'm older and a boy.
- Ron Swanson: [Pulls hacksaw out of his desk] I'll take care of this trespasser. Give me thirty seconds.
- Leslie Knope: I'm just gonna call security.
- Ben Wyatt: Guys can we push the meeting an hour.
- [Sees the hacksaw]
- Ben Wyatt: What's going on?
- Leslie Knope: Some guy handcuffed himself to a pipe in my office because we wouldn't put a copy of Twilight in the time capsule.
- Ben Wyatt: Damn it, again?
- Leslie Knope: I think we should put Twilight in the time capsule.
- Ron Swanson: Leslie, no! We don't negotiate with weirdos!
- Ben Wyatt: Yeah, what happened to "A Perfect Encapsulation of Life in Pawnee"?
- Leslie Knope: Well, for that guy, life in Pawnee is him and his daughter reading that book! Besides, I can get Shawna on board; it would make a great human interest story!
- Ben Wyatt: Uh, if this gets out, every time you want to do anything, some guy's gonna come into your office and handcuff himself to a pipe.
- Leslie Knope: Well, yeah, that's a good point...
- [Eyes light up]
- Leslie Knope: Then we shall bring the pipe to them!
- Ron Swanson: Oh no.
- Leslie Knope: Oh yes!
- [Leaves the room]
- Ben Wyatt: What does that mean?
- Ron Swanson: Crackpot convention.
- Leslie Knope: For the last time, and I won't say this again, there will be no human or feline ashes in either one of the time capsules.