Paul Rudd credited as playing...
Ned
- Omar: [speaking extremely slowly] I'm Officer Omar Coleman. I'm your parole officer.
- Ned: I'm Ned Rochlin. Why are you talking so slow?
- Omar: [now speaking normally] I just figured, looking at your sheet, that since you sold grass to a uniformed police officer that you must be retarded.
- Ned: Yeah, I get that a lot.
- Ned: I like to think that if you put your trust out there; if you really give people the benefit of the doubt, see their best intentions, people will rise to the occasion.
- Ned: [working with Billy in their new recycled candle shop] Anyway, what I was saying though, is that people recycle cans, they recycle papers, you know... why not, why not candles? I say, we put a bin out, let people bring their old drippings in their convenience.
- Billy: It's like those, those bags, that say - I used to be a plastic bottle. We can have a bin that say - I used to be another candle!
- Ned: That's a great idea. Yeah. And then when they bring those candles, we put them in another bin that say - I used to be another another candle.
- Billy: Yeah... and eventually we can just have one that say - "Trust me, I used to be a lot of candles!"
- Ned: [agreeing, amused by the idea] I was a ton... I used to be a lot of candles!
- Billy: [still revising his literary contribution] Trust me man... I have been other candles!
- Ned: Hey, you know, I've been meaning to tell you. You're doing a really good thing here, Omar. Seriously. I mean you talk to us screw-ups, you give us a reason for getting out of bed in the morning.
- Omar: Thanks, man. So you get out of bed in another three weeks, OK?
- Ned: I'll do it.
- Omar: I appreciate the compliment. It's rare that we get love from the clients.
- Ned: Well, you're a good dude. And I just needed this appointment today, I'm having a tough go of it. I swear, I try and do good, but I just screw it up. Man, I screwed it up with my sisters, I'm back living with my mom. On top of it all, I broke down and smoked a joint with the kid that lives across the street from me.
- Omar: OK, I didn't just hear that.
- Ned: I said I broke down and smoked a joint with the kid that lives across the stre...
- Omar: What are you doing? Hey! Ned, why are you telling me this?
- Ned: I just need to unload, man. That's part of why I'm here, right?
- Omar: I'm not your therapist, Ned. You don't tell your parole officer you got high. Now I have to report you or I could lose my job.
- Ned: Seriously? Can you forget I said that?
- Omar: No, Ned, I can't.
- Ned: Aw, fuck.
- Ned: [about River] You know, he's just a little boy. Little boys fight. Doesn't mean he's going to grow up to be a frat-boy rapist.
- Liz: [weeping] This can't be happening. I never should have let Ned stay here.
- Miranda: What about what Ned did to me ? I take him to work, he hangs me out to dry in front of everyone. Hang on. I'm getting call waiting. Hello?
- Natalie: Our Idiot brother just ruined my fucking life.
- Ilene: You know you'll always have a place here with me.
- Ned: Thanks, Mom.
- Ilene: I thought the girls wouldn't't want you hanging around, they've got too much stuff going on to bother with people like us.
- [sips wine]